You know you have them. They’re the fantasies you’ve had since you were young. They’re the fantasies which consist of a beautiful boy on your arm, and you two are living in the perfect world, consisting of an endless string of perfect dates, and both of you are able to work through absolutely any problem, and there are probably twinkle lights in the background of your perfect fantasy… Sound familiar?
No matter how many romantic comedy lines we have memorized, or how many romance novels we’ve read with the pages dog-eared, reality sits in the middle of our visions of an ideal relationship.
Getting swept up in the intriguing world of dating is completely normal, and something all of us do, but one vital piece of information which is important to remember while we’re busy swiping right is that dating can be difficult and it requires a bit of effort to turn your Tinder date into a bonafide relationship!
Understandably, dating can be nerve-wracking! Rest assured, there’s a good chance your date is feeling the same insecurities and thinking similar thoughts surrounding your night. While we may be able to read a nervous expression or two from our date, it can seem nearly impossible to know what they’re truly thinking, but what if we were able to have a better idea?
Before you slide into that guy’s DMs, think like he does! Look into his mind with these tips to make him go gaga for you.
20-Gaga: Speaking Up And Expressing Yourself
Conversing with a potentially new partner can feel absolutely bonkers. When you’re feeling nervous, it can be easy to stay on the quieter side and let your guy do all of the talking. Even though it can be comforting to take a backseat in conversation, gather up all of your inner confidence and speak up! Tell him what you’re thinking.
Your thoughts and opinions are worthy, and they can further the conversation, and he’ll admire your intelligence!
Your dude will love picking your brain.
19-Turn Off: Backseat Driving
As dumb as it may sound, riding in the car with a new guy is kind of a big deal! Many people see their cars as a sacred space, and their time behind the wheel belongs to them.
When travelling with your guy, it’s important to refrain from backseat driving. A backseat driver is someone who spends the ride continuously informing the driver where to go or what to do!
Even with the help of GPS, your guy would prefer if you left the directions up to him when you’re in his car, and he’ll return the favour when you’re driving your car.
Having self-confidence can be extremely complicated. Some days can be better than others. Feeling nervous on the day of your first date, or maybe even your fourth, is totally normal, and oftentimes our relationship with our self-confidence can have the ability to change on a daily basis.
It’s vital to remember to have self-confidence for ourselves because we’ll be with ourselves much longer than we’ll be with anyone else. Guys admire women who know exactly what they want, FYI, and what’s important to them! Own it, ladies!
17-Turn Off: Lingering Texts
Texting your new potential beau can be a different avenue from dating. Whether you’re planning a date or just telling a joke to make your guy giggle, a whole new language and set of “rules” can exist.
From wondering how many emojis to include in your text, to anxiously awaiting a reply, texting can feel stressful. In order to ease the tension, make sure to reply to as many texts as possible.
Leaving someone hanging via text can feel extremely personal, in some cases.
Everyone is busy, but a simple text can cure many anxious feelings for both text partners!
16-Gaga: Unplugging During A Date
The best form of communication in the year of our iPhone is actually communicating face-to-face during a date. It might not sound very hard, but even while we’re spending time with people, it can be pretty easy to grab our phones and mindlessly scroll while half-listening to our dinner’s date’s story about… what, again?
One of the biggest pluses in the dating world which will earn you some coveted brownie points is keeping yourself unplugged while you’re out on a date.
Put your phone down, and listen to your guy speak! Listen, and keep an open mind.
15-Turn Off: Constant Negativity
Everyone has tough days every once in a while and sometimes it’s hard to move past a bad mood. In the middle of a bad day, it’s pretty easy to project negativity onto everyone around us, including our guy.
Having a less-than-stellar day is okay, but continuously spreading negativity can be a major turn-off! If your conversational topics are all on the negative side, your guy might begin to feel a little reluctant to contribute to the conversation, or worse: he might not want to go on another date.
Mix up your conversation topics, so you both feel good.
14-Gaga: Passionately Sharing Interests
Believe it or not, guys genuinely enjoy hearing about anything that makes you feel enthusiastic! Be loud and proud about what it is that you love the most. Think about what makes you happiest. Do you find yourself smiling while you’re talking about your passions, and finding the words are always easier? Talking about your passions shows that you’re an actual human being, who feels real feelings (who knew?).
It enables you to show your guy the most authentic side of yourself.
It’s easy to present a different version of ourselves when we’re feeling nervous but enthusiasm is contagious, too! Bring it!
13-Turn Off: Sharing Too Much Too Quickly
While sharing aspects of our lives is essential to getting to know our new boo, it’s crucial to keep in mind how much we’re sharing at any given time.
Remember the classic MASH game that was a staple at every sleepover party when you were growing up? You knew exactly who you were going to marry, and what type of mansion you’re going to raise your multiple children together. Even though it can be tempting, keep this info to yourself during your first date! Don’t give your partner TMI.
Spread out the info you share with your dude. You both will feel much more comfortable.
12-Gaga: Having Specific Date Ideas
Certain aspects of dating can have the power to make people steer clear of dating altogether! There are countless aspects of date planning which can make everyone involved feel like they’d rather surrender the idea, and just stay in bed while watching Netflix. For some, it doesn’t matter what stage of communication you two are at, having concrete plans is a must for dating success!
Instead of going through the familiar roundabout exchange of “I don’t know, what do you want to do tonight?” come prepared with a plan of action.
The pressure will be lifted for both of you!
11-Turn Off: Talking Too Much About Your Ex
Imagine this: you’re on a successful date, but there’s an inevitable pause in the conversation, and it’s starting to feel a little awkward. You search through your inner library of stories and you think of a hilarious tale which will totally make your date laugh!
You begin telling your story and then you realize your date has a weird look on his face. You do some reassessing, and oops, you realize you’ve been talking about your ex again.
You’re starting anew when going out on a date. Don’t mention your ex at all. Your mission is to move on; embrace it!
10-Gaga: Listening To Understand Your Guy
There are two types of conversationalists: those who talk to others with the intention of waiting for them to finish, only so they can reply. The second type converses in order to listen to the other person. Sometimes you don’t know what type of conversationalist you are until you find yourself in situations like a first date when you’re getting to know someone, and you’re doing an equal amount of listening and talking.
When you’re listening to your partner speak, listen as intently as possible.
Your date will take note when you ask follow-up questions instead of talking about yourself!
9-Turn Off: Asking No Questions
When you’re on a date, or if you’re still flipping through his chosen photos on his profile beforehand, it’s essential to put in some effort for the other person. You know he’s attractive, so take the next step and send that DM to start a conversation!
Instead of messaging your dude about how cute he is, ask an interesting question. Instead of keeping the conversation at face value, go a bit deeper.
Your guy will appreciate your quirkiness, and it’ll warrant an interesting response.
8-Gaga: Sharing Dreams
Dreams have no limits! Your dreams can make a lot of sense and can lead you to figure out certain revelations about yourself. Other times, your dreams can be extremely weird, and make absolutely no sense at all. Sharing a bizarre dream with someone can be a hidden gem in dating conversation. Not only can you make your partner laugh, but he might also figure out subtle aspects of your personality which you might not normally share (or even understand!)
Shrug off any hesitations you may feel about your guy judging you. He’s not, he finds you super interesting, girl!
7-Turn Off: Constant Uncomfortable Conversations
From striving to make your date laugh and your inner voice telling you to delight him with your most interesting tidbits, the idea of talking to each other during a date can feel tiring. To make sure the art of conversation remains light and fun, make sure to keep conversations mellow. Nobody wants to discuss current events for the entire night!
Take note of the mood of the date before making the decision to bring up your next conversation topic.
It helps to have a variety of subjects to discuss, so he’s not feeling like he’s doing homework.
6-Gaga: A Sense Of Humour
Let’s be real: sometimes, a date can feel like a job interview. You’re asking each other countless questions and trying to figure out every bit of information possible. To break the ice and lighten the mood, crack a joke!
It may seem extremely simple, but laughter is the quickest way to bring people together.
When you show your sense of humour, you’re showing your potential new boy you believe it’s perfectly fine not to take yourself too seriously, and not every situation has to feel intimidating. A sense of humour can also lighten the mood of the date if needed!
5-Turn Off: Acting Demanding
Knowing exactly what you want to do on a date is admirable and can take some pressure off, but there is a difference between having an open mind and fairly discussing plans, and acting like a demanding diva in order to completely get your way!
Appearing demanding is a bad idea from the beginning. Having an attitude while you’re still in the messaging stage can squash the possibility of a date happening. Refusing to compromise while planning your date can be a headache for your guy, and he might hit the brakes.
4-Gaga: Interacting With His Family
Of course, meeting your guy’s family should happen at a certain stage of your relationship. If you two do decide to bring family into the mix, your guy will appreciate you immensely for interacting with his family! It shows your desire to get to know your guy on a deeper level, and also shows a strong sense of appreciation for your guy’s history.
Believe it or not, your dude has had a beginning and a middle before he met you! Adding any elements of a personal level will deepen a relationship.
3-Turn Off: Acting Disengaged
Remembering to focus on the present is important for any aspect of life, but there’s an extra layer of importance when it comes to dating. There are so many elements to consider when it comes to a relationship, so being respectful in every way possible is a must.
It almost goes without mentioning, but give your guy a respectable amount of attention. Do your best to stay engaged during every conversation, and be honest when you can’t give your guy the amount of attention he deserves. Make sure your partner always knows they’re appreciated and noticed!
2-Gaga: Being Yourself Unapologetically
Dating culture can sometimes make people forget about all of their unique attributes, because of pressure to conform and appear to act like someone else. Never feel ashamed of who you are!
Living your life in an unapologetic way will appear noticeable, and your guy will commend you for it.
When you present yourself wholly, you’re showing your uniqueness to the world. Your guy will enjoy your endless sense of self-appreciation. You rule. Don’t change for anyone!
1-Turn Off: Embellishing Everything
We know how important it is to be unapologetically yourself, but it’s also important to be yourself, period, no matter what! Your guy has swiped right, so you know he’s interested in knowing more about you. Be the person your loved ones already know and love.
It can be tempting to embellish certain details about yourself under the pressure to appear more interesting to your guy. Ignore those desires to tell a little white lie, or exaggerate stories about yourself. It’s dishonest.
Guys want to know the real you. Show him!