When the guy you’ve been friends with for many years refuses to make your relationship official, it can be difficult being only known as the devoted perennial best friend without the benefit of having the girlfriend title. It can be tough because not knowing where the relationship will lead is troubling and if he only sees you as someone to call on a Friday night, that is a hard place to be in. It is especially difficult if the person is someone you deem worthy of being your boyfriend because the constant worrying may cause you to wonder if your friendship with each other can turn into something more. There’s nothing more exciting than being at the early stages of a relationship, especially when you’re just friends. But in making the leap form buddies to an outright couple, you must first plant the seed, and begin the process of making it known to the person you’re with how you really feel about them.
Sometimes, it is hard trying to determine whether a gesture or simple act of kindness is a sign that the person we admire is secretly pondering feelings for us, when in fact a gentle stroke of the hand or pat on the back could really just be their way of being friendly. Although some guys will give off signals and say things they may or may not mean, leaving us feeling confused and uncertain about whether there is a chance of getting past the friendship mark. But when his feelings are known and he does appear interested, perhaps it is time to take the relationship to the next level, and go beyond the best friend phase.
When trying to send a message about the kind of girlfriend you would make, the best way to show to him is by doing all the things of a typical his girlfriend, without him suspecting anything. Being his go-to friend for hanging out with is another way to make it clear to him about the kind of girlfriend you would make. It gives him someone to call whenever he feels like he wants to hang out. When you’re both out together, it can create an opportunity for holding hands, which is something that people in relationships often do. It will also make him feel more at ease in being able to share cozy moments with you publicly. In doing this, he will also gain an impression of you, and will begin to feel more comfortable with viewing you as a potential girlfriend. Being someone who is fun to hang out with on a rainy day or just because you both feel like it, can change the course of your relationship. By spending time together, you will grow closer and eventually feel ready to take the next step in making things official.
14-Be a shoulder to lean on
Whenever we go through problems, it is always our friends who we lean on for support, and is the reason that being someone that your potential boyfriend can lean on is a good way to let him know you are there for him on his bad days. Consoling your friend and being a good listener but will prove to be important later on because he will remember the times you were there for him. Guys have their off days from time to time, and can get down on themselves when things aren’t going their way, so in trying to lift their spirits, we can always try to make them laugh or put them in a good mood by showing them we care and understand what their going through, and is a good way to help take your relationship to the next level. By doing this, he gets the advantage of seeing the kind of girlfriend you would make in his time of need, and can always look to you as a shoulder to lean when he’s in an unhappy place. Being a source of support for him, is something that will make your relationship stronger in the future.
Sometimes, when there is little pressure placed on a relationship, it can often lead to something more, because the two people involved didn’t try to work so hard to make it happen. When there is no pressure, both people can freely do as they please without there being any obligation to do certain things that are typical of boyfriend and girlfriends. Calling the person everyday, or texting them every minute can become bothersome for those who are not used to it. In trying to make your feelings known to him, the best way is by not trying too hard, and letting nature take its course, because he will feel at ease, and view you as someone fun to hang out with, without there being an obligation to do so. The best way to make him see that your relationship is pressure free is by taking it one day at a time, and not being too demanding of each other.
In taking a relationship to the next level, the simplest way to give it a boost is by putting the idea out there, and asking him yourself. Perhaps it is easier to see where you stand in the actual relationship by asking the question, and allowing him to give you an honest answer. With every relationship, communication is important because it lets us know where we are headed, and what needs to be done in order for things to stay in a good place. Being proactive and taking the initiative in asking him if he wants a relationship is a step in the right direction, because he will see that you are interested in moving things further. Sometimes sitting back and waiting for something to happen can make it harder for any change to take place. That’s why we suggest that you be ready to ask the right questions that will help clarify anything you are unsure about.
11-Tell him your point of view
Trying to give your point of view to someone you like is a difficult task, but the moment you do, it takes the weight off your shoulders and you are able to breathe again. By telling him where you stand in the relationship, it will help him to gauge whether or not it is a good idea to move things further along. If you keep your feelings in, time will just pass you by, and you don’t need to spend months or years without any progress in your relationship. When you do decide to let him know how you feel make sure to keep it simple. You don’t want to confess your soul to him and have it not fully reciprocated. That could be friendship ruining, sorry it WILL be a friendship ruiner. Instead be candid but state your feelings lightly.
10-No mixed signals
The worst thing to do when trying to get out of the friendzone is to send mixed signals, and act like you don’t care about the friendship. Sometimes women tend to do this because they feel confused about the other person’s feelings. Being affectionate with each other one day, and pretending like he doesn’t exist the next will not work. In order to have a long term relationship, avoid sending mixed signals, and lessen the confusion. State how you feel and remain consistent in your behavior. If you care that is okay, if he doesn’t feel the same at least you know. You don’t want to be hot and cold with him, based on his behavior. You’ll end up stressing yourself out way more than you need to be. Don’t forget, you were friends first. Be candid and honest about how you feel, if he respects you as a friend he will do the same.
In waiting for him to make a move, it’s always best not to force the situation or rush into a relationship before the time is right. Being patient, and letting things happen naturally may seem difficult, but it’s the most logical step to take in trying to take things to the next level. You have to remember that this is one of your closest friends and if this doesn’t work out then you might lose him forever. Or he might be feeling the same way as you, he might be waiting for you to make the first move. This is another reason to be patient, you need to feel out the situation, figure out how he feels. He’s one of your closest friends you should have a good idea of how he feels. Be patient and wait for the time to be right before laying all of your love and feelings on him.
8-Think of ways to stay connected
Being able to stay connected with the person you’re with is a good way to build a relationship and take it to the next level because by doing so you both remain important in each other lives, whether through Facebook or social media, or simply calling each other on the phone every night, having a means to communicate is necessary in the event that you both have busy schedules or work obligations. In life, sometimes unexpected things can happen, and you lose contact with the people you care about. The importance of making time for someone in your life, will lend itself to building a better friendship that can blossom into something more. The opportunity to connect with the person you’re with is a chance to form a lasting bond that will make it easier to go from being friends to starting a serious relationship. On the days that you’re busy and unable to get time off, it’s always good to check in with the other person, or send a thoughtful text message that says you’re thinking about them to show you want to remain in his life.
7-Don’t give ultimatums
Sometimes when we feel things are going nowhere and our relationship is at a crosswords, we make the mistake of giving ultimatums or threaten to leave all together so the guy will feel pressured to enter a relationship when he’s even not ready. Trying to force him to officially make you his girlfriend by giving him a choice between taking things to the next level, or no longer being together is a decision that is difficult to make and puts a strain on the relationship. Doing this can cause him to feel like his is being backed in a corner, and unable to get out. You can avoid this, by not trying to be manipulative and deliberately sabotaging your relationship. In the worse case scenario, if things get stagnant and you feel like he doesn’t want to pursue something serious, perhaps the best way to handle the situation is by simply accepting the way things are, and moving on to something else but still remaining friends. In doing so, he might feel less reluctant to make it official, and be more willing to give the relationship a chance if he doesn’t feel like he’s being rushed into it.
6-Be bold, and show him who you are
In trying to send a message to the guy you’re friends with, its always good to have him see who you really are by being bold and not hiding beneath disguises. Sometimes we think that putting on a different personality will make him think we are capable of being someone worth dating, when it’s doesn’t help in taking things to the next level or give him a clear idea of who we really are. Being expressive, and candid with the person you’re friends with, is something that can advance a relationship, because you will come as across as unpredictable, and it will make him feel excited to be around you. By being bold, he will see the real you, rather than a false version of someone, even if you have an opinion that’s unpopular, perhaps you should share it anyway, to prove that you stand by your beliefs and aren’t afraid to be outspoken. We sometimes fear that having disagreements will end a relationships, but even if you say something he doesn’t agree it, saying it anyway will really show him that you are bold and can form your opinion on things.
5-Get passed the awkward moments
On a late Saturday night, when both you and him are sitting cozy on the couch, it can be hard trying to fight the urge to plant a kiss on him, especially if it’s just the two of you. It may be easier to sit in silence and watch the movie than engaging in behavior that the both of you may regret later on. By getting pass the awkward moments, it will help to send a clear message to him that you’re not interested in having a relationship where there are no boundaries and he can come and go whenever he pleases. Choosing to set limits is a good a way to avoid feeling uneasy whenever intimacy is involved, because by doing so, he will feel ready to take things to the next level, and want to pursue a serious relationship. When a guy feels so laid back that he starts to put the moves on you, it may be a sign that you have not made it clear enough that you want something long term rather than a friends with benefits arrangement.
4-Diffuse the competition
Its easy to get discouraged when two people who are casually dating hit a road block because they don’t know whether they should label their relationship. Sometimes it works in the guy’s favor because he feels he can date other women which is something that’s not forbidden because the two people are just friends. But even then, after a while he may start to find that his other relationships were unsuccessful or didn’t pan out, because he kept going back to the one person who he still had feelings for, but In trying to lessen the competition, it’s not always a good idea to stop him from seeing other people even though it makes you feel uneasy, because by simply being his one true friend, he will place you above the others when he is ready to be with someone who wants a future with.
3-Learn each others habits, tastes, and quirks
In a relationships between friends, knowing each other’s habits, tastes, and quirks can help make your lives easier because you understand each other’s patterns, whether you are a morning person or he prefers to talk on the phone at night, knowing little tidbits like this is something that can help build your connection with one another. In a restaurant, after both of you have ordered, if he is someone who doesn’t like ketchup or prefers salt on his plate, maybe you should kid him about it or place the ketch up to the side, and move the salt to the center of the table to show him you know he tastes. If one of his quirks is people talking in a movie theater, when you arrive, scan the theater and suggest sitting in a cozy spot in the back where there are less people so that you will be alone together. If he habitually gets up early, calling him in the morning time to say hello will
In order to let him know how you really feel it’s always good to give subtle hints to put the idea in his mind. Trying to get your feelings across and wanting to take a relationship to the next level with a guy, is something that needs to be done cautiously because if he feels you are coming across too strongly, it can hurt your chances, and make things worse, even saying something as simple as “I was thinking about you the other day”, is a good way to send a message that doesn’t seem to pushy or dramatic, setting a time to talk on the phone and having a normal conversation is also another way to make your feelings known, without being obvious because by opening yourself up, he will be willing to do the same, and can make it easier to move your relationship further. In not being blatant in your approach, he may start to wonder if you actually think of him as more than just a friend, and will open up to the idea of wanting something more because you didn’t say it.
1-Be able to read him well
Some of us have trouble understanding the male psyche and don’t know how to read them, which is something that is important, in being able to figure out the right moment to tell them you want a relationship. But in understanding the meaning in his words, you must first determine the right time to speak, and know how to bring the subject up casually, without screaming it to their face. If he appears shakey in his body language and has trouble getting out his sentences, it might not be a good idea to say anything at all and just wait for a better time to speak.
However if he starts opening up, don’t try to avoid the conversation or change the topic, instead get things off your chest, and let everything be said, even if it’s not what you want to hear, because when both of you have spoken your minds, it will help to clear everything up. Some guys are not as good at communicating their feelings, and is the reason you must become better at being able to read them better so that when you do propose the idea of starting a relationship, he won’t be opposed to it.