Have you ever been interested in a guy who always held back? Every seemingly perfect moment for romance just comes and goes in his presence? Is it because he’s not interested in you or is it something else?
Could it be possible that he’s actually just really slow when it comes to recognizing when it is and when it isn’t alright for him to make a move? What if it’s something else? How can you tell what’s really going on in his head?
Enter the only surefire way to tell anything—the stars! If he’s holding back because he doesn’t want to lead you on, it’s probably because he’s an Earth sign. If he’s holding back because he’s on the hunt for someone he feels might be a better match, it’s probably because he’s an Air sign.
But what if he’s only holding back because he truly doesn’t understand the signals you’ve been throwing at him for the past few days, weeks, months, or even years? Well, the only real way to answer that question is to consult the cosmos—why is he holding back and what can you do about it?
Well, sometimes there’s nothing you can do about it, but sometimes there really is hope! Find out more with this helpful list of 20 explanations for why he might be holding back.
A good Fire sign understands his passions, so if he’s holding back it can only be because he knows he’s going to hurt you and he’s trying to keep that from happening.
Or, it’s because you’re not even on his radar.
If he’s always interested in other people but never seems to be interested in you, it could be because you’re special (and he can’t bring himself to ruin your friendship by trying to cross a line). It could also be because he simply isn’t attracted to you on a physical (yes, we know it’s the most basic) level. The trouble is sometimes it’s insanely hard to tell which one it might be.
19-Aries Are Impulsive, So He’s Holding Back Because You’re Not On His Radar
If he was interested in you romantically, he would have made a move by now. It’s better that you move on from your Aries crush sooner rather than later. You don’t want to find yourself pining for someone who will never give you a second glance. It’s easy to tell yourself that maybe you’re special and he has to work his way up to asking you out, but the reality is he’s going through women like crazy and it isn’t because he’s hoping to “build up” to anything—it’s because he wants to have a good time with women who aren’t you. In an Aries’ case, he’s not holding back because you mean something to him, he’s just not having to hold back at all.
18-Leos Like Attention, So They’ll Sometimes Play Games
When someone loves attention as much as a Leo does, they’ll go the extra mile to turn as many heads as possible. This is where fishing for compliments comes in, pretending he’s in need of help with something or generally going out of his way to make you think of him.
If your Leo crush seems to be the center of attention when women are around, it’s not necessarily because he’s trying to draw the attention of just one.
It’s more likely he’s trying (and apparently succeeding) to earn everyone’s attention. Think of it this way: why get attention from only one woman when he can get attention from them all?
17-Sagittarius Might Want A Little More Freedom Than You’re Willing To Give
You’ve talked to your Sagittarius crush and he’s outright admitted he isn’t interested in a serious relationship. He knows you’re looking for something real and you’re not sure why he isn’t willing to change his mind. So here’s the thing… you can’t change a person! If he wants something, it isn’t your job to make him understand why your perspective is better. Your job is to accept that he’s not interested in the same thing you are, so you’ve got to let him go. If he really wants to reign himself in, and if he wants you to be the person he changes for, that’s entirely up to him. Don’t hold your breath waiting for it though, because it’s not very likely to happen.
16-BONUS: Sagittarius Will Sometimes Offer More Than He Can Deliver—And He Knows It
Sometimes when a guy really wants to look good in front of a girl, he’ll stretch the truth a little—or a lot. He’ll promise X if you Y or insist A will happen if you B. The truth? He’s so full of it his eyes are brown.
He’s just trying to manipulate you into doing what he wants for his own selfish purposes.
He knows he’s that kind of guy and he isn’t willing to fracture your friendship, so he’s holding back. Really, you should see what the deal is simply by standing back and watching him with his other relationships. Be smart and keep a good eye out.
Water signs don’t just jump into relationships assuming everything will work out perfectly. They know there’s some serious work to be done if they want a relationship that’s worth their time, so they’ll ease into things. Unfortunately, water signs know more than most what it means to really hurt from past relationships, or even from what they’ve observed from other people’s romantic pursuits. If you’re hoping your water sign crush will turn to look your way, try befriending them first and showing off all your good points. If anyone is going to respond to these things, it’s a water sign guy.
14-Cancers Can Be Insecure
Some Cancer guys keep their insecurities a little too close to the surface. If they’ve got issues, they’re not going to jump into a relationship. In fact, they’re not even going to flirt with possible love interests because they’re too afraid of what might happen.
He can get anxious and if he’s anxious, he’s not going to even try to make a move.
If you’re seriously crushing on a Cancer and you’re giving him all the signs but he’s still holding back, it could be as simple as him needing time to get more comfortable with you, and himself, before he will make a move.
Anyone who has ever been hurt in the past knows exactly how hard it is to trust in the next relationship or even the next several relationships. The thing about Cancer guys is once they’ve been hurt, they keep the memory close to their heart and do everything they can to protect themselves from ever having to go through that pain again. If you’ve been on a few dates with a Cancer and you’ve given him every indication that you’re interested but he’s still not leaning in for that kiss at the end of the night, it’s probably because he’s protecting himself. Be patient, be kind and in time he’ll open up.
12-Scorpios Prefer Friendships First
The strongest relationships are often those that stem from great friendships. The reason for this is simple: you already know a lot about each other, you already love spending time together, and there’s a certain level of comfort that can only come after two people have really had the time to understand each other.
Scorpio guys know that they want something legitimate, not just a casual relationship.
He’s going to want to see what you’re like as a friend before he even considers the possibility of being anything more. Don’t rush him, let him move at his own pace. In the end, you’ll both be better off for it.
11-Pisces Need To Build Trust
Not all Pisces men are capable of trusting someone from the start. Some have been hurt in the past while others have struggled with finding the positive in humanity. Wherever your Pisces guy’s trust issues stem from, it’s important to remember his need to connect and start from scratch is an important one. You can’t rush a Pisces, so don’t even try. Stick close to his side and be patient! Prove you’re worth trusting and, in time, your Pisces guy will slowly start to come out of his shell. If you’re too impatient, you may try to do something he isn’t comfortable with and you’ll only scare him off.
10-Earth Signs Want Something Real
When an Earth sign falls in love, it’s rarely on the spot. Earth signs tend to look for romance after they’ve determined a potential partner is legitimate. If you’re only interested in a fling, don’t turn to any of the Earth signs—he won’t make a move for one, and for another, you’ll only end up hurting him.
Earth signs need to know their partners are truly dedicated to the relationship or they won’t bother with you.
He wants someone who looks at romance as a serious topic, not some fanciful way to pass the time. Of course, they tend to hold themselves to the same standards as well—they’ll be real with you so don’t be afraid to ask why he’s holding back.
9-Capricorns Tend To Expect Bad News
It’s pretty hard to tell if someone is really interested in you or if they’re just interested in a fling. There are too many players involved in the game of love, so who can a Capricorn trust? The problem is he’s wondering who wants something real and who doesn’t and that doesn’t mix well with his habit of expecting the worst case scenario. Even if you tick every box and he laughs at your jokes and he’s always wanting to spend time with you, he might hold back simply because he isn’t sure if you’ll respond well. When it comes to Capricorn guys, don’t be afraid to prove you’re trustworthy and that you’re looking for a serious relationship, then talk about it and confess your feelings to him!
8-Taurus Is Looking For Romance
Ladies, there’s no reason men should be the only master romancers! A Taurus guy is looking for a girl who will put just as much effort into pursuing him as he wants to put into pursuing her.
The cool thing about Taurus is he understands how to give and he understands how to take.
He wants to be with someone who will love on him just as much as he will love on her—so is that you? Pique his interest by showing him a little of your romantic side. Try serenading him or offer to take him out to dinner. He’ll appreciate the thought and he’ll feel comfortable enough to make a move.
7-Virgos Can Be Too Shy
So you’ve tried asking him out on a date, but he confused it with just two friends hanging out. Okay, it happens, but then you told him how you feel and now he seems to be avoiding you more than ever. Does he not like you at all or is it something else? Well, the truth is Virgos can be painfully shy. If you’re telling him exactly how you feel and he’s reacting with mixed signals, it may be because he doesn’t know how to react at all. He’s just super shy, so take your time and be patient. But remember: The most important thing is to keep him as comfortable as possible or he’ll retreat further into his shell.
6-BONUS: Virgos Are Sometimes Overly Critical—But Not Just Of You
On one hand, a Virgo guy is determined to hold himself to a certain standard, and on the other, he’s looking for a partner who will do the same. Have you ever heard the saying, “Everyone is their own worst critic”? Well, we’re pretty sure that line originated from a Virgo. He’s constantly judging himself whether it’s his grades, job performance, social encounters, or even the way he folds his laundry!
If you’re really interested in a Virgo guy and he seems to constantly be at war with himself, he’s not ready for a relationship.
He’s not making a move simply because he hasn’t reached a point in his life where he can balance self-improvement with the pursuit of a romantic interest.
5-Air Signs Can Be Flighty—Pun Intended
They’re not called “Air signs” for nothing! These guys are known for their inability to stay in one place for too long. They’re also known for their unexpected reactions and, at times, nonsensical viewpoints. It’s hard to pinpoint why, exactly, an Air sign is holding himself back romantically, but there are a lot of signs to help you determine what’s going on. It’s always a good idea to remember that Air signs are absolutely capable of being involved in romantic relationships—the trick is to find one who is ready on both an emotional and physical level, otherwise, you might as well be throwing caution to the wind.
4-Gemini Sometimes Gives The Wrong Impression
In today’s world, simple courtesy can sometimes be confused with flirtation and Gemini guys are definitely courteous. They’re the ones who hold doors open for others, offer to help a kid with their homework, and are often the sort of people who go out of their way to help a friend.
While these may seem like great qualities, it’s important to note they are by no means an indication of romantic interest.
If he’s helping you out and is always there for you, it doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to be with you. Nip things in the bud and just ask him if he likes you romantically. It’ll save you a ton of drama and will give you the answer you need anyway.
3-BONUS: Gemini Prefers To Be Alone
While Geminis can be super social, many of them also need time for themselves. It isn’t about being emotional—he’s not sulking alone in his room dressed in all black while listening to goth punk. The truth is, he just needs to wind down from all the socialization he’s been getting at work, school or wherever he spends the majority of his time. If you’re dropping hints and you think he’s holding back, it could be as simple as him requiring just a little bit of alone time. Don’t take it personally, just give him a little space and try again. He’ll let you know what’s up when he’s ready.
2-Aquarius Sometimes Spends A Lot Of Time Looking For Someone Better
Some Aquarius have the mindset that there’s always someone better coming along, so no matter who they’re with, they’re always wondering who their “someone better” is.
There are several flaws with this thought process but it usually leads to two types of people: those who are serial daters and those who are unwilling to take the first step toward dating any one person in particular.
If you’ve got your heart set on an Aquarius guy who doesn’t seem to be interested in romantic ventures, it might be because he’s hoping someone “better” is in his future. Of course, with that mentality, he’ll probably spend his entire life alone, but you don’t have to—if he’s always waiting for someone “better,” it’s time for you to look for someone better as well.
If you’ve been trying to pin down a Libra but he seems to shy away, it could be because he’s not looking for anything serious. In fact, most Libras will tell you if they’re interested in something casual. All you really have to do is ask. Here’s the thing—if he tells you he just wants something casual and you’re not into it, don’t try to convince him to try a real relationship. He’s being honest with you and now it’s time for you to be honest with yourself—he doesn’t want anything serious and you do. Boom! There’s your truth—you’re incompatible, so it’s time to move on.