The weeks immediately after a break up are always challenging. Often, now-singletons feel sad because they miss their ex, are angry about the way it all went down, and are unsure about what’s going to happen next. All those emotions tend to fly around and add to the confusion, whether the break up was the right thing to do or whether it was a total mistake.
When trying to decide whether ending the relationship was a good thing or not, it’s always good to give it a little time. There’s no use in trying to analyze something like this while everyone’s heads are still clouded by all those feels! But when enough time has passed, there are a few questions people can ask themselves post-breakup that may be able to help them work out whether they’re on the right or wrong path.
Break ups are usually a good thing if they improve the quality of someone’s life, make them happier in the long run, and open them up to new opportunities that are better for them. Contrastingly, the relationship is probably worth holding onto if they were with someone who makes them happy, understands them, and accepts them for who they are.
Read on to find out whether the breakup was a good idea or a bad one.
20 SIGNS THE BREAKUP WAS FOR THE BEST
25-One Person Didn’t Treat The Other Well
The breakup was probably a good thing if you weren’t treating your partner well anyway, or they weren’t treating you the way you deserve.
When one person is neglecting the other or putting them through any kind of stress without any regard for their feelings, the relationship is treading along the borderline of being toxic, if it’s not there already.
And while the end of a toxic relationship can still be sad, it is always for the greater good.
24-They Were Totally Incompatible
Even though two people can be attracted to each other and care for one another, it’s still a problem if they’re totally incompatible. We’re not talking about having differences, because lots of healthy relationships consist of people who are polar opposites. But there are certain things that you should have in common with your partner, and if you don’t, you become incompatible. In that case, trying to stay together is like jamming in the wrong piece of the puzzle. It just doesn’t work.
23-Little Effort Went Into The Relationship From One Or Both Sides
Even the best relationships take effort. Scratch that … especially the best relationships take effort! It takes a lot of work to coordinate the lives of two people and meet each other’s needs while also making sure your own needs are met.
If there’s no effort going into the relationship, there’s not much point to any of it.
So if this is what your relationship was like, whether it was you, your partner, or both of you who didn’t put in the time, it’s probably a good thing that it’s over now.
22-The Relationship Was Draining
At times, relationships can be draining. But if a relationship is going to enhance your life and be a good move for you, it won’t be draining all of the time, even if it is sometimes. If it was getting to a stage where you were exhausted all the time, and you had no passion or enthusiasm left to put into the rest of your life because your relationship sucked it all up, you’re probably in need of a break anyway.
21-Neither Person Liked Themselves While With The Other
One of the signs of a relationship that’s totally wrong for you is when you’re with someone who brings out the very worst in you.
Some people just happen to have that effect on each other, and you can’t always blame one party.
Even if they’re attracted to each other, it’s very hard to make it work if this is the case. You should think twice about committing to someone who turns you into someone you don’t even like.
20-They Were Settling For Something They Didn’t Want
In the context of a relationship, what exactly is settling? In most cases, it involves accepting less than you want or deserve, usually because you don’t think you can get any better. People have different reasons for settling, but our advice would be to stay out of relationships that you don’t really want to be in, both for yourself and for the other person. It’s actually a good thing that you broke up if you were only settling in the first place.
19-The Relationship Was Plagued By Jealousy And Resentment
Jealousy and resentment are two forces that can make a relationship a living nightmare to be in. A little jealousy is okay, as long as it doesn’t manifest into toxic behavior.
As for resentment, there’s really no room in a healthy relationship for grudges.
They’re painful for both the person holding the grudge and the object of their wrath. So if your relationship was fueled by resentment coming from one or both sides, it’s a positive thing that you’ve now left it behind.
18-They Were Only Living For Memories
You know that it’s nearing time to say goodbye to a relationship if the two of you have nothing to discuss but memories. Two people in love should share most things that happen in their lives and have lots in common to talk about. If you found yourself constantly revisiting memory lane, it might have been because there was no substance in the present of the relationship. You deserve a relationship that is a joy to be in right now, not just a series of good memories.
17-They Wanted Different Things From The Future
Though two people may love each other a whole lot, it’s very difficult to make the relationship last if they just want different things from the future.
And even if they manage to make it work, it will usually mean that someone is sacrificing what they want to make their partner happy.
In this case, it’s often a wise decision to part ways, and try to find someone whose vision aligns with yours. It may be hard, but it’s for the best.
16-Their Friends And Family Thought It Was A Good Idea
Friends and family aren’t always the best judges of things, so there will be exceptions to this one. But generally speaking, if all the people in your life consistently agree that the break up was a good idea, it probably was. While they may not always have the best intentions, family and friends can often see the reality of a relationship a lot more clearly than the people in the relationship can. Love is blind and all that.
15-One Person Couldn’t Be Trusted
Nobody deserves to stay in a relationship that isn’t built on trust. Few things are more painful than having to wonder whether your partner is being faithful to you, or whether they’re going to keep their promise this time, or if you can trust them to have your back.
Those things should be a given in a relationship, and anything less just brings more stress into your life.
If you couldn’t trust your partner, good riddance because they don’t deserve your energy anyway.
14-There Wasn’t A Feeling Of Safety And Security
All relationships are different, but most people would agree that the good ones always feel safe and secure. You should never feel like you’re in danger or you’re threatened in any way. And similarly, you shouldn’t have to feel like you’re always walking on eggshells, the relationship isn’t a sure thing, or you might lose your partner at any minute. The break up was probably needed (and a good change) if you were constantly feeling unsafe or insecure about your relationship.
13-Now The Future Looks Bright
Trusting your gut feeling is underrated, and in most cases, the right thing to do. It’s a sign that the break up was meant to be and for the greater good if you are actually excited about your future without your ex. Even if it’s just a piece of you that’s excited.
And remember you can feel sad about the relationship ending and enthusiastic about the future at the same time.
If your body is telling you that the break up was a positive thing, it probably was.
12-They Had Different Values
Though it’s totally okay for couples to have differences of opinion, there are a few core things that they should have in common. One of those is basic values or beliefs. When one person believes that their profession and wealth are the most important things on the planet, and the other believes in a modest life dedicated to family, there’s probably going to be quite a few obstacles on the road. Don’t be too upset if you broke up with someone who had completely different values from you.
11-One Person Couldn’t Be Themselves Around The Other
Couples should reach a stage in their relationship where they feel comfortable enough to be themselves.
During the early days together you might be trying to impress each other too much to let your bad habits out or show up without makeup, but there has to come a stage where you’re cool just being you.
If you couldn’t be yourself around your ex, or they felt like they couldn’t be themselves around you, there’s a good chance it wasn’t going to be a happily ever after.
10-They Argued All The Time
Arguments do have their place in a relationship, but they shouldn’t be all there is. You’re most likely better off single than with someone who used to argue with you all the time. Constant arguments may indicate deeper problems in the relationship, plus they take their toll on both people. We all go through periods where the fights increase, especially in stressful times. But generally, there’s no point in sticking around if all you do together is argue.
9-There Were Double Standards Within The Relationship
Double standards are unfair and can be one of the clearest signs that the relationship isn’t working.
What is okay for one person should be okay for the other, and when one person gets special treatment, the other should get it too.
What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. If your relationship was full of double standards that either favored you or your partner, you were lacking equality. Life is much better without that kind of strain!
8-They Hardly Ever Communicated Properly
Communication is one of the most important elements of a relationship, and it’s very hard to make a relationship last without it. Usually, a lot of major problems a couple is facing can be traced back to communication issues that they may have. It’s probably a good thing that you and your ex are no longer together if you have serious communication issues. A couple who doesn’t communicate properly will likely run into more trouble sooner rather than later.
7-Thinking About It Is Still Painful
If just thinking about your relationship still causes you pain, the break up was most likely a good thing.
Even if you end up getting back with your ex down the track, for the time being, you probably need time alone to heal and work things out with yourself.
A lot of the time, if the relationship was so problematic that just thinking about it is hard, it was probably toxic and not good for you to be in anyway.
6-They Weren’t Happy Together
WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE, HAPPINESS IS WHAT MATTERS THE MOST. THE OTHER SIGNS COUNT, BUT NOT AS MUCH AS YOUR OWN HAPPINESS. IF YOU WEREN’T HAPPY WHEN YOU WERE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR EX, BREAKING UP WITH THEM WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO. A RELATIONSHIP SHOULDN’T BE THE ONLY THING MAKING YOU HAPPY, BUT IT DEFINITELY SHOULDN’T MAKE YOU UNHAPPY OR TAKE AWAY FROM THE HAPPINESS YOU DO FEEL. BEING UNHAPPY WITHIN A RELATIONSHIP IS A CLEAR SIGN THAT IT’S TIME TO MOVE ON.
5 SIGNS IT WAS THE WRONG MOVE
5-Wrong Move: They Treated Each Other Well And Made Each Other Happy
By contrast, if the relationship made you happy, it might be time to think about whether breaking up was really the right thing to do.
There are other things to consider as well—being happy is a must for a relationship, but it doesn’t cancel out the need to feel safe, for example.
But if your partner treated you well and you treated them well, and you were both happy together, it may be worth reconsidering your decision.
4-Wrong Move: They Were Deeply In Love
Being deeply in love isn’t the only reason you should get back together with someone, but as long as everything else lines up, it’s a pretty good one. The truth is true love is rarer than you might think. When you think about all the flings you’ve had that haven’t involved real love, you probably want to hold tightly onto the person you’re actually in love with! Of course, it takes more than just love to make a relationship work, but it’s a good reason to at least give things a second thought.
3-Wrong Move: Life Hasn’t Been Better Since The Breakup-
A good way to judge whether or not breaking up was the right thing to do is to evaluate your life before and after. Obviously, the period immediately after a break up is always tough, and you’re bound to feel sad or angry.
But as time goes on, if the break up was meant to be, your life should get better.
You won’t have the added stress that the relationship brought. If your life is actually getting worse without them, getting back together might be an idea.
2-Wrong Move: They Accepted Each Other’s Flaws
It’s not always easy to find someone who accepts you for who you are. It’s even harder to find someone who actually loves you in spite of all your flaws. When you’re with someone who loves you for who you are and doesn’t make you feel insecure or guilty about anything, you should put a very big tick next to their name. This is a great quality in a partner, and something worth thinking about if you’re reconsidering the breakup.
1-Wrong Move: Both Are Reluctant To Move On
Moving on after a relationship is difficult for many people.
But if both of you really don’t feel like you can move on, it could be your gut feelings again telling you that you belong together.
Your inner voice will probably be able to tell whether you should get back together with someone or forget all about them, so if you just have the nagging feeling that you don’t want to be with anyone else, even after enough time has passed, it’s probably worth listening to.