While it’s possible to make all sorts of mistakes in a relationship, some may seem to be easier to make than others — especially when you take the characteristics of your zodiac sign into account. Depending on the personality traits associated with your sign, as well as the positive and negative habits you tend to bring to the table, you might start to notice a few trends when it comes to your dating life.
You might notice, for example, that a lot of the people you’ve dated have said you’re not the best listener, or that you seem to always argue over the same exact things. “Every sign has their own strengths and weaknesses,” life coach and astrologer Joshua MacGuire tells Bustle. “And if you want to know your character flaws, the fastest way to find out is to get into a relationship. Therefore, it stands to reason why the different signs’ flaws can become all too apparent when [in a relationship].”
That’s because, relationships often serve as a mirror. And once you have someone to reflect off of, it becomes easier for these tendencies to come to the forefront. That being said, it’s always important to remember that not everyone will identify completely with their sign. Although different zodiac signs have different attributes, not all characteristics may pertain to you. Instead, the zodiac should be used as a guide to help with self-reflection, and offer further insights into the qualities you do identify with.
So, if you think you’ve noticed a trend, where you keep having the same issues time and time again, that very well may be true. Here is the one mistake each sign tends to make in relationships, as well as some advice as to how to fix it, according to MacGuire.
1Aries (March 21 – April 19)
As with all the zodiac signs, Aries has quite a long list of positive attributes. But if there’s one trait that might hold them back in relationships, it’s often their tendency to be a bit self-centered. “They don’t instinctually take their partner’s feelings into consideration,” MacGuire says. And as a result, are often thought of as selfish.
This trait can be balanced out, however, with a little self-awareness. “[Aries] can change this by balancing their needs with their partners,” MacGuire says. As long Aries is willing to listen, and meet their partners half way, their selfishness doesn’t have to become a problem.
2. Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
For Taurus, it might be all too easy for them to give off needy vibes. “Taurus tends to be needy or needs to be needed,” MacGuire says. And that can become a problem in their relationships, since it can leave their partner feeling like whatever they give is never enough. It can also create a codependent type relationship, which can easily become unhealthy.
It doesn’t have to go down that road, though, if Taurus makes an effort to change. “They can balance this out by realizing the true extent of their self-worth,” MacGuire says. Taurus just needs to realize that “they’re lovable,” and that they are OK whether their loved ones are around or not. In doing so, they can more easily stand on their own two feet, and have a happier relationship as a result.
3Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
While there’s nothing inherently wrong with flirting, Gemini is one sign that can go overboard — which is something that doesn’t always fly with their partners. “Gemini is so young at heart and likes to have fun [and] … oftentimes can’t help but be flirty,” MacGuire says. “This may infuriate their partner, making them wonder how such flirtations might escalate into something more.” This is especially true if their partner tends to be jealous, which can create an unhealthy situation.
To prevent things from getting to that point, Gemini can try to tone down their flirty ways, and make their partner feel more comfortable. They can also keep things exciting within their relationship, “so they never get bored,” MacGuire. In doing so, their flirty energy will be focused into the relationship, instead of outward. They may, for example, “aim to do something they haven’t done before with their partner,” at least once a week, so that the relationship will be more dynamic.
4Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Cancer, a sign that’s represented by the crab, tends to keep their feelings to themselves. “Just as the crab moves laterally, Cancers don’t confront things head on,” MacGuire says. And that’s because they’re a sensitive sign, and often worried about seeming too emotional.
As a result, Cancer might come off as passive-aggressive, and have a tendency to keep their emotions inside, until they bubble over. But this can certainly be worked on. “Cancer can improve their passive-aggression by not taking things personally, and/or confiding in their partner when their feelings are hurt,” MacGuire says. This may be a tricky transition to make at first, but by sharing their emotions more frequently, they’ll be able to open up easier, and actually say what’s on their mind.
5Leo (July 23 – August 22)
“Being ruled by the bright and powerful sun makes Leo incredibly warm and generous,” MacGuire says. “But the sun can also burn — and Leo [might do] this when they feel slighted.” If anything upsets them, Leo might be unintentionally cruel towards their partner, without thinking about the consequences.
But they can easily rein in this tendency, once aware of it. “If Leo understands the full extent of [their] power, [they] can realize that really loving someone means being merciful, and that being menacing destroys trust,” MacGuire says. “They may balance out their temper by channeling their inner [vindictiveness] into exercise, or guiding it with the power of love. From strength comes forth sweetness.”
6Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Virgo’s perfectionist qualities make them partners who are wonderfully attentive to detail. But they might also make a habit of complaining when things don’t meet their standards.
“Virgo’s perfectionistic standards are admirable. But their discerning sensibilities can result in their constant complaints,” MacGuire says. They might complain about how their partner cleans the apartment, how they cook dinner, how they organize their day, etc.
“Virgo needs to know that their mate longs to feel as if they’re good enough, and being fussy about everything — from the way they dress, to the route they chose to drive, to the amount of spice in the sauce — doesn’t do much to rev up their partner’s confidence,” he says. “If Virgo can realize that we’re all perfectly imperfect, they will give much relief to themselves and their partners.”
7Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Libra is all about balance, but they do tend to struggle with keeping their thoughts to themselves, which may lead to some bad arguments.
“Libra loves harmony, but even more so loves balance,” says MacGuire. “To ensure the former, Libra will let a lot of things slide. But don’t be fooled: they [might] keep a running list of all the slights and perceived infractions of their partners (as well as all the good things they’ve done too.) The problem is, when the proverbial final straw breaks the camel’s back, they pull out that list and leave nothing unsaid. This is their way of regaining equilibrium.”
While it may make sense to Libra, this can seem like an attack to their partner. And, it’s not always the healthiest way to deal with problems. “To balance this out, Libra may want to communicate as they go along, and not let the tension build.”
8Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
“Scorpios feel things very deeply; that’s what makes them so sensitive and deep,” MacGuire says. “But this ultra sensitivity poses a problem when Scorpio doesn’t know how to let things go.” It might be easy for them to sit silently and stew over something their partner did a month, or a year ago, without ever bringing it up — which can, of course, create a intense feeling of resentment.
“To save their health and add more happy days to their calendar, it would be good for Scorpio to rise above matters that are inconsequential, or work with their partners on solving issues, as opposed to holding them all in to protect their vulnerability,” MacGuire says. They’d do best to be open and honest with their partner in the moment, even if it feels uncomfortable.
9Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
While there’s nothing wrong with spending time away from a relationship — perhaps by having separate hobbies, or taking a weekend away with friends — Sagittarius tends to take this desire to the extreme.
“No matter where Sagittarius is, no matter what they’re doing, they have an underlying belief that there’s something more,” MacGuire says. “This is great, as it makes Sagittarius a great adventurer with a desire to travel geographically as well as through the landscapes of their minds. In relationships, however, this wanderlust can pose a problem. Even though they love their partner, they may not be able to help their naturally wandering eye – to new people, places, and things.”
And if their partner wants a traditional relationship, this can feel threatening. But, as with all relationship woes, it can be worked on. “Even if they decide to do what they’re supposed to from a traditional lens, they need to find a healthy way to keep their mind expanding,” MacGuire says. “If Sagittarius can find ways in which [they] and [their] partner can discover the world and new knowledge together, as well as try new things s_-ually, Sagittarius won’t be likely to wander,” since they’ll be perfectly fulfilled, right there with their partner.
10Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
“Ruled by the 10th House of Reputation, Capricorn can sometimes be sensitive about their place in the world,” MacGuire says. “They are leaders at heart, and feel most comfortable in such positions.” And while that may play out to their advantage at work — where they move up the corporate ladder with ease — it’s not always a healthy quality to bring home to their relationship.
“When it comes to relationships, it’s important for Capricorn to view the union as a team, not a competition,” MacGuire says. “If not feeling confident, therefore, Capricorn can at times engage in oneupmanship — the ‘anything you can do, I can I do better’ mentality.” And this can be, for obvious reasons, quite frustrating.
This can be balanced, though, by making a slight shift in perspective. “By seeing love as the ‘egotism of two’ they can bypass oneupmanship in their partnerships, which will result in great success for them both as people and as a couple.”
11Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
If any sign is going to seem aloof, it’s Aquarius. “Often, they are indeed off in their own little worlds,” MacGuire says. They’re often daydreaming, and focusing on themselves. And that can be a great quality.
But “this can create conflict in partnerships, when each mate needs to be cognizant of the other,” says MacGuire, which is why they can benefit from realizing that it’s possible to daydream, and be present for their partner. “By being responsible in their partnerships and staying present in real-time, Aquarians will actually have more freedom in the long-run, because they’ll be more harmony in their relationships.”
12Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Pisces is another flirty sign, and one that can sometimes give into temptation. “Pisces are so changeable and impressionable, it’s almost unfair that they have to adhere to a certain preset principles and standards,” MacGuire says. “Because of their changeability, Pisces can sometimes be tempted; they can indulge themselves, and then deceive as to protect their partners and themselves.”
If their partners aren’t down for that, it can create conflict and hurt feelings. So Pisces needs to either create a relationship where it’s OK to be a bit more open, or make a few changes to keep their current partner happy. “By making it a point to indulge and escape with their mate regularly, they’ll be less likely to be tempted on their own,” MacGuire says.
It’s often small tweaks like these that can make all the difference when it comes to having a harmonious relationship. Each sign comes with its fair share of positives and negatives, but each trait can be balanced out, with a little effort.