Everyone thinks that the worst part about breakups is being the one left behind. However, the truth is that it’s not any easier being the one wondering Should I break up with my girlfriend or boyfriend?
This is exactly the question going through your mind right now. The more you try to reach a final conclusion, the more confused you are.
Well, that’s why we’re here. To give you 15 signs that it’s time to end your relationship and to help you answer the question, Should I break up with my girlfriend? that’s been bugging you.
1. You’re together for all the wrong reasons
The first warning sign that you should without any doubt put an end to your relationship are the reasons why you’re in it in the first place.
I’m not saying that love is enough for a couple to work out, but it definitely has to be one of the things keeping you together.
Therefore, if you are with a certain girl just because she, let’s say, takes care of you and you’re convinced you’d have a hard time finding someone else to parent you, that’s reason enough to break up.
You don’t need a mother; you need a girlfriend. Besides, this woman isn’t your servant, and this shouldn’t be the only thing keeping you by her side.
Another wrong reason why some people stay in bad relationships is the fear of being alone.
Your romantic partner has become your comfort zone and you assume that you couldn’t handle life as a single man.
You have no energy or will to get back into the dating pool. You have no desire to go looking for a new relationship and have gotten used to having a girlfriend.
Maybe you’re in this relationship because all of your friends are taken as well. You don’t know what you would do with your life and how you would spend your time without this girl by your side.
This is especially true if you’ve reached a certain age where you’re expected to have a committed relationship.
Basically, you don’t have the strength to fight society’s norms. So, you stay right where you are even though that’s not what you want deep down.
Another wrong reason why some people remain in unhappy relationships is because they think they can’t have anyone better.
They are stuck with their partners since they’re convinced that they’re good for nothing and could never find someone better.
After all, having any girlfriend is better than having no girlfriend, right? Well, no, this is not true. It’s always better to be single than to waste years on the wrong person.
2. You want different things
When you’re young and restless, the only criteria you have for being in a romantic relationship with someone are your feelings. In that age, things are pretty simple with most people.
During the honeymoon phase, it’s enough for you to feel butterflies in this girl’s presence.
It’s enough that you two find each other physically attractive, you get along in the bedroom, and you feel like you love each other.
However, as time goes by and you grow older, you see that not everything is so romantic in real life. Butterflies and fireworks go away.
The honeymoon phase is over and some other things become more relevant.
When this happens, you realize the importance of being compatible with your loved one. You understand why it’s crucial to share similar moral values and opinions about life with your significant other.
That is exactly one of the first problems in your relationship: You and your girlfriend want different things from life.
Therefore, deep down, you’re aware that you have no future together.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that the two of you must have identical viewpoints regarding all aspects in life.
However, if your relationship is serious and is getting somewhere, there are some crucial points you simply have to start agreeing on.
For example, a problem will arise if your girlfriend wants to start a family while you don’t plan on getting married just yet or don’t want kids at all.
The same goes with other things Perhaps you’re determined to live in a big city, while she would prefer a cozy little house in the countryside.
The same is with finances, your lifestyles, daily schedules, and so on. Whichever way, the point is that you can’t seem to reach a compromise with this girl regarding your potential future.
You might think that this is something you shouldn’t consider just yet, since you’re still not married.
Nevertheless, if you’re aware that your romance isn’t going anywhere and that each one of these problems will appear on the surface sooner or later, why waste any more time one something that clearly has no future whatsoever?
3. She doesn’t respect you
Besides love, mutual respect is one of the main foundations of every relationship, especially a romantic one.
Therefore, if your girlfriend doesn’t respect you at all, maybe it’s time to break up.
Whether you like to admit it or not, most men, including you, have a fragile ego. It means that you get insulted much easier than you are willing to admit.
Well, this is something your girl should know. Therefore, if she loves you, she will never undermine you in any way, nor will she do anything for you to feel bad and unworthy.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that your perfect girlfriend should kiss the floor you walk on. It doesn’t mean that she should behave like your submissive. That is not an act of respect.
On the other hand, putting you down is also not acceptable. She shouldn’t treat you like a second class citizen in your relationship, nor should she act like she is above you in any way.
However, this is exactly what your girlfriend keeps on doing. She uses every opportunity she can to make you feel worthless and not good enough.
The worst part is that she also does it in front of others. This girl has an incredible urge to make fun of you in front of everyone you know, including your family and best friends.
If this is something you can relate to, the answer to Should I break up with my girlfriend? is pretty obvious.
Your partner is clearly one with some serious self-esteem issues she’s trying to resolve by putting you down, since it’s the only way for her to feel worthy.
Sounds complicated, I know. But this is not the person you should give a chance to be in your life any longer.
4. You think that you’re settling for less
You don’t think of yourself as perfect. You have your own set of flaws, just like any other person in this world.
However, at the end of the day, you’re a good guy and a high-value man. You treat girls right, you’re faithful, and you’ve never taken advantage of any woman.
This especially applies to your current relationship. You love your girlfriend more than anything, you take care of her and her needs, you give her your undivided attention, and you put her first.
Looking at things objectively, you’re the type of guy almost every girl would wish to be her boyfriend.
Nevertheless, the harsh truth is that you’re not getting the same amount of effort from your partner in return.
Basically, you’re settling for less than you deserve. Not only that – you’re also convinced that some other girl would appreciate everything you have to offer much more.
Well, in that case, it looks like you have a problem because you’re not in a relationship with the right person.
Everyone has these kinds of thoughts every once in a while, but if you’ve become obsessed with thinking how your life would look next to someone else, it’s definitely time to break up with your girlfriend.
After all, it’s much better to remain faithful and end things in time than to go out in search of someone who’ll give you what you’re looking for while you’re still romantically involved with your girlfriend.
Don’t worry, all of this doesn’t make you ungrateful. You’re a man who has his own standards and dealbreakers, and you shouldn’t lower them for anyone.
Therefore, if your girl hasn’t reached these expectations you had, it’s fair for you to break up with her and go look for someone else who will give you what you need and want.
Remember: By settling for less than you deserve, you’re not doing either of you any favors.
5. She tries to change you
If you want a healthy relationship, you need to be ready for compromise.
Meeting your romantic partner halfway sometimes includes changing some of your habits or routines, or even adapting your worldviews to theirs.
However, the essence of your personality should always remain the same, regardless of the girlfriend you’re currently with.
Don’t get me wrong. This doesn’t mean that you’re not allowed to change during life. You can grow as a person and modify elements of your character as much as you like.
Nevertheless, there is a difference between these changes happening spontaneously and happening under someone’s pressure.
It’s one thing if you’re the one who feels motivated to change, but quite another if your girlfriend is the one trying to turn you into a different person.
Let me be straight with you here. If this is something she keeps on doing, neither of you will be happy should this romance continue.
Basically, you have three options here.
First case scenario: You can do your best to change in order to please her. In this case, sooner or later, you’ll start feelings miserable the moment you realize you’ve lost yourself.
You might think that, in this scenario, your girlfriend will be completely satisfied. Well, she won’t.
In fact, she’ll lose all respect for you once she sees that she can mold you however she wants. Also, she’ll always want you to change some new things about you and never be happy with your progress.
The second option you have is to pretend that you’ve magically become someone else in front of her.
Needless to say, this is completely pointless. It’s deception and developing several parallel personalities can be potentially dangerous for your mental health.
Finally, the best option for you is to stay true to yourself. However, in that case, your girlfriend will remain unhappy, which is also not a recipe for success.
Whichever way, the bottom line is that this girl doesn’t accept the real you and never will. Therefore, it’s easy to conclude that she doesn’t love you either.
Instead, she loves the idea of you. She loves your potential – the man she imagines you’ll become.
With all this in mind, you’ll realize why the only healthy option you have here is to put an end to this relationship.
After all, you’ll have to do it sooner or later because these things have a tendency to escalate, so it’s better to leave without unnecessary bitterness from either side.
6. You have poor communication
I’m sure you are well aware of the importance of communication in a relationship, especially between romantic partners.
After all, this is the person you spend most of your free time with – someone you hope to build a life together with – so it’s crucial that you two are able to talk.
When I say communication, I’m not referring to small talk or everyday conversations. I’m talking about your ability to argue, reach a consensus, and most importantly, understand each other.
Well, the problem is that you and your girlfriend don’t have healthy communication.
First of all, you don’t know how to fight productively. Don’t read me the wrong way, I’m not blaming you for arguing every now and then. All couples do it.
Besides, whether some like to admit it or not, fights can be beneficial for a relationship. Sometimes, they’re the only way to solve a certain problem.
However, the trouble here is that you and your girlfriend fight all the time, without any specific reason.
Your relationship is constantly filled with tension and everything between you two inevitably becomes an issue.
Also, your arguments are never productive. You insult each other and the only important thing is who turns out to be right.
It appears that your egos are more important than reaching a common ground.
Besides, you never learn from your fights. You’ve never adopted a practice that a problem should be forgotten the moment it’s solved. On the contrary, you actually never resolve your problems.
Eventually, you just get tired of fighting and make up until the next occasion where one of you rubs the other’s nose in the same old thing.
Another thing that makes your communication poor is the fact that neither of you actually put in effort into making it better.
You don’t listen to each other, there are no deep talks, you know nothing about each other’s fears, hopes, dreams…
7. Someone else has got your attention
This reason alone is more than enough to give you an affirmative answer to your question: Should I break up with my girlfriend?
Trust me, the moment you notice that some other woman has captured your attention, it’s time to end your current relationship.
I’m not talking about physical attraction here. After all, you’re a human being made of flesh and blood, and it’s perfectly natural to find other women besides your girlfriend beautiful and pretty.
It’s normal to notice a girl you consider attractive passing by or on TV. However, even if we’re talking about Miss Universe, you still wouldn’t trade your girlfriend for her, even if your life depended on it.
Besides, you forget about this girl in a minute. You’re not interested in who she is, whether she is taken, and if there is a chance to get in touch with her.
The problem arises when another woman starts to occupy your thoughts and feelings more and more.
If there is a girl you can’t stop thinking about, it’s only fair to your girlfriend to come clean and leave her.
Do it before you fall for the temptation of going behind her back and being unfaithful. Do it even if you don’t stand a chance with this other girl.
Let’s face it. Your relationship is not where it should be if you keep on thinking about a third person.
Your girlfriend is not the right person for you if you keep imagining how your life would be next to someone else.
This is especially true if something like this has been happening for a while. It’s not that you were drawn to some girl and thought of her for one day only.
Often, the other woman takes the form of a close friend or coworker.
Even though you didn’t do anything concrete, the truth is that you have been spending time with her, you two have been texting, and your relationship is one step away from crossing the line.
Deep down, you feel guilty for your actions because you know they’re not right. You know you’re betraying your girlfriend and that is reason enough to tell her your final goodbye.
8. Your family and close friends think that you should break up
You’re an adult. You’re a mature man who is capable of making his own decisions.
After all, you’re the only one who suffers the consequences of your poor choices, so nobody has the right to interfere with your life and tell you what you should and shouldn’t do.
Therefore, nobody is telling you to blindly follow your friends and family’s advice when it comes to your love life.
Nobody is asking you to let them choose a girlfriend for you and determine who you should date.
However, you have to realize that these are the people who love you, no matter what. They’re the closest to you and sometimes they know you better than you know yourself.
With in mind, has it occurred to you that all of them are against your relationship for a valid reason? Is it possible that they see some red flags you can’t?
Remember: You can’t be objective when your relationship is at stake. Your emotions are in the mix here and there is no way for you to see the bigger picture.
Nevertheless, these people have the chance to be more objective.
Therefore, if they keep on telling you that your girlfriend isn’t right for you, that she doesn’t deserve you, or that she is using you, maybe it’s time to at least consider their point of view.
After all, it’s impossible for all of those people to continuously repeat the same story without any back-up.
Despite all of this, don’t forget that this is just one of the signs that you should break up with your girlfriend.
So, if your closest people’s disapproval of your relationship is the only thing you can relate to among all of these reasons, maybe you should ignore them.
However, if you’re in doubt about what to do, take their opinion into consideration. Of course, even in this case, the final call is on you.
You’re the one who’ll have to keep on living next to this girl if you choose to stay in this relationship.
You’re the one who will suffer after this breakup and have to deal with emotional pain if you choose to break up with her.
Your life – your decision!
9. She abuses you
Most people in general have the assumption that abusers are exclusively male, while the victims are almost always female.
They think that you as a man are physically stronger than pretty much any woman on your path, so there is absolutely no way for a girl to abuse you.
Well, you’d be surprised how far from the truth this is. In fact, there are more male victims of domestic abuse than you could even imagine.
Besides, there are other forms of abuse except physical violence. You can be mentally, emotionally, or even financially abused by your partner, even though you’re a man.
The trick here is that most victims have a hard time admitting that they’ve been suffering abuse. This is even truer when it comes to men. Guys in these situations are scared that they’ll be ridiculed.
They think people will laugh at them and consider them physically, mentally, and emotionally weak, since they allowed a girl to abuse them.
The best parameter for recognizing abuse is the sense of fear.
You shouldn’t be afraid of your girlfriend regarding any aspect of your relationship and life. If you do, something is without doubt off.
Some might wonder how you can be scared of a woman who is probably shorter and smaller than you. Well, if she is a skilled abuser, she’s gotten into your head.
Besides, in most cases, fear is irrational. Abusers do something to make you afraid of them, and that doesn’t have anything to do with their body size.
Also, you don’t have to necessarily be afraid that she will get physically violent. Maybe she is emotionally blackmailing you or makes other types of threats.
If your girlfriend is bullying you, she’ll probably try gaslighting you as well. She will try to play down the traumas she’s caused you and make fun of you even calling her an abuser.
However, if you do feel like a victim in your relationship, trust your gut. You don’t need anyone’s permission to feel abused – the way you feel is more than enough.
In that case, the only choice you have, if you want to save yourself in time, is to walk away from this woman. She obviously needs professional help and you’re not the one who can provide it.
Also, if this is something you’re going through, I’m begging you not to be ashamed to look for help for yourself.
10. The cons outweigh the pros
Love is everything but a mathematical equation.
Everyone will tell you that you can’t describe it, there is no logic behind it, and the only way for it to work out is to follow your heart and see where it takes you.
However, if you are in a situation where you’re asking yourself, Should I break up with my girlfriend? it’s pretty obvious that weighing things in your relationship is a necessity.
Basically, what I’m advising you to do is to start writing a type of relationship diary. Put all of your relationship problems and good things about this girl on a piece of paper.
You probably won’t think of everything right away. So, take your time and remember everything positive and negative about her that is relevant to your relationship.
At the end of the day, if your cons outweigh the pros, it’s a good sign that your romance has come to its end.
Of course, this doesn’t have to mean that there are numerically more cons. In fact, one negative thing alone can outweigh ten positives and vice versa.
Therefore, it’s important to be as realistic as possible here. Yes, your feelings also have a say in this decision, but they shouldn’t be the only reason to choose to stay in this relationship.
11. You’re only with her because of your history together
Contrary to popular belief, the present and the future are always more important than the past.
Therefore, if you’re still stuck in an unhappy relationship just because of your history together, it’s time to break up.
Once upon a time, you and this girl had it wonderful together. You loved each other more than anything, you could talk, you had fun together, and most importantly, you were happy next to each other.
However, all of that came to an end. In fact, things got pretty messy with time and your relationship has become a skeleton of what it used to be.
Deep down, you know that it was nice while it lasted. You’re perfectly aware that the good days are over and they’re not coming back.
Nevertheless, every time you’re about to leave, you decide to give it another chance exactly for the sake of those old times.
You hope that the love you two once shared will awaken and that you’ll magically return to the first days of your relationship.
Not only that. You two having a history together also includes your lives being mutually intertwined.
You know each other’s best friends and closest family members, and you think you two have been together for too long to break things off now.
Besides, this relationship has become your comfort zone. You know this girl beside you and you’re terrified of the unknown that awaits you outside of this relationship.
Well, let me tell you that having a history with someone is not reason enough to give them your future as well.
Trust me, it will be much better if you end things now. Don’t worry, you’re not ruining everything nice you shared by breaking up with her.
In fact, both of you will forever have the memory of the love you once had, despite how it ended.
12. She is overly possessive
Whoever tells you that a certain amount of jealousy isn’t flattering is probably lying. Let’s face it. All of us love to see our significant other crazy for us to the point where they don’t want to risk losing us.
However, when it comes to your girlfriend, her jealousy is everything but cute. In fact, this woman is possessive and controlling.
You feel like you’ve lost all of your freedom next to her. You feel like a bird in a cage – suffocated and trapped – and that is not how a healthy relationship should ever make you feel.
At first, you were glad that she wanted to spend a lot of time with you. You thought you finally found a girl who cares for you deeply and puts you first.
However, after a while, her clinginess started to tire you. Instead of drawing you closer to her, all this girl ever managed to do was to chase you away even further.
She’s started making a fuss about every other girl around you. It’s like she can’t accept that you had a life before she came along.
In fact, your girlfriend expects you to cease to exist just because you’re with her now.
She demands you ditch all of your friends (especially female friends) and even disregard your entire family because she should be enough for you.
You catch her stalking you, checking up on your phone calls, text messages and social media, and dissecting every word you say in a crazy search for warning signs of infidelity.
She is jealous of literally everyone who has any type of contact with you, including your coworkers and childhood friends.
The worst part is that you’ve never given her any reason to doubt you. It’s like this girl is imagining things and making a big deal of something that isn’t there.
Not only that, she is also incredibly controlling. It’s like she wants to run all aspects of your life and put her in the center of it, without caring for your opinion and feelings.
If this sounds familiar, it’s time to run for your life, especially if you tried talking to her about this but without progress.
Remember that you’re nobody’s property and you shouldn’t allow anyone to treat you this way. You’re stuck in a toxic relationship with a narcissist in disguise!
13. She doesn’t prioritize you
Even though you’re officially this girl’s boyfriend, the fact is that you don’t feel like one. In fact, you feel like her second choice and someone she goes to when everyone else abandons her.
It’s actually pretty simple. At the end of the day, you’re not important to her. She doesn’t prioritize you and couldn’t care less about your needs and well-being.
In fact, everyone and everything seems to be more significant than you. She never has time for you and keeps on treating you like her last resort.
Now, I’m not saying we should all put ourselves first, so don’t be angry if your girlfriend loves herself more than she loves you.
However, if you two are in a long term relationship yet she still hasn’t given you the place you deserve in her life, it’s about time to reconsider your entire romance.
Why should you keep on putting her on a pedestal, while she treats you like a doormat? Why should you keep on putting her in first place, while she is putting you at the bottom of her priority list?
Yes, I could advise you to give her a taste of her own medicine. You could try turning the tables by being less available and giving this girl a chance to feel your absence.
Nevertheless, that would be unhealthy and childish. After all, the moment you put a stop to these immature games, she’ll go back to being her old self.
Therefore, the best thing to do in this situation is to walk away and never turn back.
She had her chance to treat you right and she blew it, so you have no other option but to start loving yourself more than you love her.
14. You are not happy in this relationship
One of the first and most important rules in life is that nobody can bring you happiness or take it away from you. In fact, you’re the only one responsible for the state of your mind and life.
You’re the creator of your own happiness and the only responsible for making yourself content. Therefore, you can’t expect your romantic partner to do this on your behalf.
You can’t expect a girl to walk into your life with a magic wand and suddenly make everything right – to resolve all of your issues, chase away each one of your demons, and make all of your worries go away.
However, it’s also true that a good relationship should make you happier. It should improve your existence and make life that much sweeter.
Nevertheless, the problem in your romance is that you’re not happy. You might have “valid” reasons for the way you feel or not, but the point is that your girlfriend is making you feel miserable and sad.
Whenever you’re with her, your mood changes. You’ve stopped enjoying little things in life and you feel blue all the time.
However, this can’t be classified as depression. After all, you’re only like this when you’re around her.
This is not so easy to recognize if nothing extraordinary has happened between you two. There’s been no things such as abuse, infidelity, or serious lying involved.
Nevertheless, you’re unhappy next to this woman and you have a full right to feel this way.
Don’t let anyone tell you that this is not a good enough reason to break things off, because your inner peace is the most important thing in the world.
15. There is no more love
You know how we said that love alone is not enough to make a bad relationship work. Well, even though that is true, it’s also true that love is crucial for a romantic relationship to succeed.
Basically, what I’m trying to tell you is that you can have a seemingly perfect relationship on the outside.
But if you and your girlfriend stopped loving each other along the way, it’s a pretty darn good sign that there is no point in remaining together.
The same goes if only one party doesn’t have any more emotions.
If you don’t sense her emotional support, listen to your gut, be brave, and admit to yourself that your girl doesn’t love you anymore before she tells you that face to face.
Also, ask yourself whether you love her. If the honest answer to this question is no, the answer to the question
Should I break up with my girlfriend? is yes!