Have you ever found yourself running after a man who clearly doesn’t want you? After a man who can never give you what you want and who will never love you enough?
If you have, you’ll be well aware of how painful this situation can be. It’s not that you end up heartbroken–your ego is ruined, as well.
However, besides this pain, chasing a guy who doesn’t want to get caught brings numerous other long lasting consequences. Here are seven of them.
1. Your sense of self worth disappears
The first consequence of chasing a guy who doesn’t want to be yours, is that you lose all sense of your self value.
You can’t help but take this man’s rejection personally and after a while, you convince yourself that there is something wrong with you.
You wonder why the man you are into can’t love you and doesn’t want you. What do you need to change about yourself to become more appealing and attractive to him?
After all, you’ve done everything in your power to win him over.
You’ve put in maximum effort and given him your best self but even so, he hasn’t had the decency to choose you.
So, you come to the conclusion that you’re not enough for him.
You don’t know whether it’s your looks, your character, or something else but the bottom line is that you’re missing something and all your efforts can’t seem to compensate for it.
Consequently, you lose your self-esteem and you start finding flaws in your appearance and personality, trying to find the cause of his indifference.
Not only that–you also go as far as comparing yourself to all the other girls around him. What do they have that you don’t?
2. You feel drained
After some time spent running after a man who never wanted you in the first place, it is natural to feel tired and emotionally exhausted.
It’s like the chase and all of the mind games you’ve been trying to play have gotten the best of you.
They’ve taken away your energy and sucked the life out of you, leaving you completely drained and empty.
You feel like you’ve just gotten out of a war–and this is exactly what this was: a battle which you didn’t have the slightest chance of winning.
Naturally, this experience has changed you. It’s turned you into a negative and bitter person who has lost her optimism and will to live.
The worst part is that all of this effort was in vain. You invested so much of yourself just to end up getting nothing.
In fact, you managed to lose yourself and the positive outlook you had on the world in the process. And that is definitely not what you signed up for and not what you expected.
3. You have relationship problems with someone you’re not in a relationship with
Among other things, the most damaging consequence is without doubt having relationship problems with someone you’re not in an actual relationship with.
In fact, you are in some kind of an undefined situationship, an almost relationship, or whatever the hell you want to call it.
Either way, the point is that you have the arguments, the jealous outbursts, the anxiety when he doesn’t respond to your texts. You have the lack of trust, understanding, and compromise.
I won’t lie to you–some of these things also happen in real relationships. Not all the time, but even if they do, it’s not the end of the world and a couple will work to overcome them.
Every relationship has its negative sides. Nevertheless, sometimes, it’s worth putting up with them because of all the good things your romance brings.
At the end of the day, you have a person who loves and respects you, and someone you know will never abandon you.
However, when it comes to your situationship, things are quite different. You have relationship problems and all the negative sides of a romance without the positive ones.
And that just sucks!
4. You become insecure
Another dangerous consequence of chasing a guy who doesn’t want to be caught is the insecurities it causes.
Without even planning it, you apply your overthinking state of mind to everyone–not just to your almost boyfriend.
It is perfectly normal to have lost your trust in everyone and not believe in anyone’s intentions anymore. You are convinced that everyone is out to get you and wants to hurt you.
Moreover– you overthink your every move, in constant fear of making a mistake and doing something wrong.
Without even being aware of it, you’ve become a people pleaser and you’ve started walking on eggshells around everyone because you are afraid that they will also think of you as not enough and reject you the same way this guy did.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with thinking things through before acting on them.
However, there is a huge difference between being wise and careful and analyzing and dissecting your every move before making it.
5. You miss out on many opportunities
You’re someone who can only focus on one guy at a time.
You don’t give a damn whether he’s worthy of your attention or whether he is giving you any positive feedback–when you love a man, you have eyes only for him.
This is a great quality when you’re in a relationship with someone who is also one hundred percent loyal, faithful, and devoted.
On the other hand, when you’re the only one trying trying and caring, this trait can result in some damaging consequences.
You see, while you were going after this man who never gave a damn about you, you missed out on a lot of good opportunities.
There were numerous nice guys who tried to make a move on you but you failed to notice because you were blind sighted.
Even though you’re not actually taken, this is exactly how you behave: as if you were in a serious relationship, when you should be putting yourself out there.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advising you to deliberately enter a rebound relationship, I’m just begging you to at least take into consideration someone who deserves you.
6. You get relationship anxiety
After the many disappointments this man has put you through, it is natural to end up having relationship anxiety.
You assume that every time you give it a shot with someone new, it will always be the same: you’ll find yourself begging for love from a man who keeps pushing you away while simultaneously giving you just enough false hope to keep you around.
So instead of trying something new, you build walls around your heart.
Of course, this doesn’t happen right away and you’re probably unaware of it at this point, but when you fall out of love with this douchebag and think you’re ready to give love another shot, it will hit you.
You’ll realize that, as much as you try, you’re unable to relax and give your entire self.
You’ll become overly careful and terrified of romantic relationships because you won’t see a chance for any of them to work out.
If this is something you can relate to, please keep in mind that not everyone is like your almost ex.
As much as it’s scary to lower your guard, there are men out there who are worthy of the risk.
7. You waste time
When you first fall in love with a man who doesn’t want you back, you don’t see it as a big deal.
You think you’ll try to win him over once or twice before you give up on him and forget he ever existed.
However, things don’t work that way. Before you know it, you find yourself trapped in a seemingly endless circle of his rejections and realize that nothing has gone the way you planned.
The worst part is that, without you even being aware, time passes you by in the blink of an eye. And your emotions intensify in the process, instead of fading away.
You end up wasting years on someone who never deserved a minute of your time. Years you could and should have invested in something else.
How often have you spent time thinking about him, when you could have been sleeping peacefully?
How many tears, how much energy and effort have you thrown away, without the possibility of ever getting them back?
And most importantly–how many years do you plan on wasting, waiting for a miracle which will never come?
I bet even you don’t know the answer. So, why exactly do you keep on doing this to yourself?