I am fully aware of the level of Basic Bitchdom one must be at it to write anything involving their zodiac sign, but this is my #journey, and you’re all coming on it.
(I do also hope my sarcasm bleeds through your computer screens and across your WiFi signals lest you be convinced I’d seriously be writing about the agony and ecstasy of my horoscope.)
I don’t know much about astrology, I’ll be honest with you. But here is what I do know: from the extensive Google searches I have conducted, I believe it’s high time I take my place as the poster child of the Scales. I don’t know what goes on with the stars, but I do know that they know me better than I know myself (for better, for worse, and for absolutely insufferable.)
I hear that people call Libras the best zodiac sign to be (not disagreeing) but like, you know, we have our issues. Here, 20 things every woman who is too Libran to function knows.
1. You are indecisive to an unhealthy, destructive fault. There has not been a cup of coffee or three week old relationship that’s crossed your path without a 20 point/counter-point argument in your head about whether or not you really want it. There’s not a school, job, relationship or new top that you haven’t considered leaving or bringing back.
2. You usually need about a one-year adjustment period until something becomes routine in your life (no longer a choice, you feel) and then you stick with it forever.
3. And I mean, for.ev.er. (We’re a ride or die bunch.) Your friendships are eternal, you still wear your favorite scarf and perfume from 5-10 years ago and you’re not so much interested in dating as you are “finding one person to love forever and ever and give them absolutely everything and never turn back so help you god.”
4. Once you’ve decided something, there is no changing your mind. Truth just seems self-evident to you. You see both sides of any situation objectively, but you’re just as able to see why one is more just than another.
5. You’re really drawn to the concept of harmony in a metaphorical sense. You were also probably that asshole who harmonized songs in the car after choir practice in high school.
6. A significant portion of your wardrobe is devoted to Little Black Dresses and other staple pieces. Loud patterns and colors make you physically uncomfortable, and you’d rather look classic than in-the-moment stylish (and mildly ridiculous.) You just don’t buy into something being nice looking because it’s a “trend.”
7. You are naturally drawn to dainty, pretty, neutral colored things. I don’t know, there’s nothing more to be said here. You just like pretty shit.
8. When people are in the room, your foremost concern is making them feel comfortable and as though they’re wanted. One of your greatest talents is charming the pants off people (lol).
9. You’re equal parts a wildly driven overachiever and lazy bum who doesn’t want to get out of bed for entire days at a time. You have two speeds: do everything or do absolutely nothing.
10. “Warrior mind, poet soul.”
11. You’re a great person to get into an argument with. You don’t take to petty, unjust forms of retaliation. You admit when you’re wrong if that’s what you feel is right. But if the other person is wrong, you’re NEVER going to just let them go on thinking they’re not. You’ll calmly dissect their logic until they’re either seething at the realization that you’re really annoying but really correct or just walk away entirely. You’re really charming like that.
12. You have to be alone to recoup and recharge. You’re introverted in that sense, but extroverted in the sense that you get energy from making other people comfortable and happy.
13. You’re a hopeless romantic, but exclusively so. You pretend to be in love with love, but really, you’re in love with love with one specific person. You would seem to like dating (and you do like being romanced!) but at the end of the day, you’re a monogamist in theory (despite whatever you are in practice.)
14. You love beauty and peacefulness and relaxing things. You like atmosphere and charming other people so when you love someone, they are treated like absolute royalty.
15. You’re naturally maternal. If you don’t have kids of your own, you tend to be drawn to caring for them (or others) in a very mother-like way. You’re stand-in mom to your younger siblings, often referred to as the “office mom,” etc. (I wear those titles proudly, FYI.)
16. You’re very much self-sufficient. You have to balance on your own and you’re just uncomfortable relying on anybody for really anything significant.
17. You best thrive in a creative field, but with leadership and structure of some sort. You’re good at being objective. You’re as much of an artist as you are a businesswoman. (Badass combo, honestly.)
18. You can be wildly self-indulgent. You’ll buy yourself an expensive bottle of wine, sit in a candlelit bubble bath, treat yourself and a friend to a luxe dinner and call it an average, ordinary day of you just “loving yourself.”
19. You’re essential nature is flirtatious. With anything and anyone. You can’t even really identify what “flirting” means because it’s no different than how you communicate with most people. This gets you in trouble sometimes, needless to say.
20. You have a very difficult time expressing how you really feel. I saved this one for last because God, it is a thick pill to swallow when you’re finally ready to come to terms with it. The things that are most real to you, most precious and genuine (especially your feelings) you protect with a fierceness other people couldn’t fathom. So you don’t say how you feel. You don’t act on your innermost instinct (it’s where a lot of the indecisiveness comes from.) What you’re usually battling between is what you really want to do and what you think other people would be happiest seeing you do. *Mic drop for the Libras who haven’t figured that out about themselves yet.*