To be or not to be? Staying friends with someone you once loved, or rather not?
It’s an inevitable question that pops up in our heads after a split.
Sometimes we are not even aware of it and subconsciously think about the idea of being friends with humans because we are afraid of losing them completely out of our lives.
When love dissolves, it is natural for us to think about the friendship with the person with whom we once shared everything.
But in most cases this is not a good idea, it seems.
Being friends with someone you once loved means erasing the past that you two are sharing, and not wanting to do anything with it that has nothing to do with friendship (other than, you’re friends with certain merits ).
6 Reasons Why You Can Be With Someone You Loved Once, Not Just A Friend
1. You need time to mourn
The main reason why you can not just be friends with this person is the fact that you need time to grieve.
It does not matter if your partner is the one who initiated the separation, or maybe you, you just need some time alone to understand the situation and heal it properly.
And if you stay friends with him, you will never be able to heal yourself.
You will never be able to live in peace and harmony with yourself, because the decision to be friends with him will persecute you.
2. You were intimate with each other
Intimacy is something we should not take for granted, because it is a strong force that connects us to another person.
And once you’re connected, it’s difficult to disconnect. It’s hard to forget the scent of the hair, the way you kissed or hugged.
Once you share your heart and intimacy with someone, they automatically become part of you, so it’s almost impossible to suddenly switch to the “just friends” label.
You will always remember what you both used to have.
3. You will not be able to continue
If you decide to be friends with him, you will never be able to keep going.
You will live in your past and the present at the same time.
And the more you go forward, the more you will be brought back.
You’ll never be able to find your true self and erase your past because you’ll be too busy thinking about what went wrong.
4. It could make your new partner jealous
Being friends with your ex could severely affect your new potential partner.
He might become jealous and start wondering if you’re over him or not.
And it will make him behave possessively, even if he is not such a person.
He will never be 100% sure that you will not change your mind and reconcile with him, and that will cause stress and unnecessary quarrels with your new potential partner.
5. You will be on a constant emotional roller coaster ride
If you are going to be friends with someone you once loved, you need to prepare yourself to be on a constant emotional roller coaster ride. You will have mixed feelings about everything.
His actions will remind you of your happy moments together and it will make you question the correctness of your decision to go your separate ways.
Emotions are really complicated and our brain never forgets something.
Even a word he uttered earlier can trigger certain emotions in you and make you feel lost and confused. It’s because your brain does not understand it’s over.
Your brain is wired to enjoy the things you used to enjoy, and that’s why emotions can pop up when you least expect them.
And you will be in a permanent labyrinth where you have to question everything.
6. Other people might come up with wrong thoughts
Your friends and family may misunderstand it if you try to reconcile with it, and that’s why they will start asking you unnecessary questions.
To prove to you that your intentions are only friendly will not convince you.
And it’s really frustrating when you have to validate each of your steps and thoughts.
For you, “only friends” can mean something quite different from what they imagine, and in that case, it would be a much better alternative to stay away from your ex.