Why do men hide their feelings?
Why does a man keep hiding his feelings, starting from an early age, in a relationship and in everyday situations?
One thing is for sure, a lot of people, or better said, a lot of men find feelings and emotions scary.
Unlike women, a man’s capacity for feelings and their emotional expressions are completely different or they simply don’t exist.
That is one of the reasons why most men are incapable of showing their true feelings and maintaining intimate relationships with their loved ones.
To understand why men hide their feelings, first we have to go back to the point where they were still boys because there lies the root of the problem.
From a young age, boys are taught to be self-reliant and to hide all of their insecurities because every human being is familiar with the fact that ‘boys don’t cry’.
And boys were always spending time with other boys who were also taught to behave in the exact same way.
Competition games, football, wrestling, war games (you name it), have all contributed to making boys (today’s men) act like tough and rough warriors, devoid of emotions.
Unlike girls, boys were never encouraged to express their own feelings, to show their sensitive sides or to show certain body language signs because all of this would have displayed their vulnerability and make them look ‘weak’.
And that is why these boys (today’s men) tend to hide their feelings and develop their own coping mechanisms.
And that is why women are constantly asking themselves: “Why do men hide their feelings?” aka, “Why do guys act like total idiots and jerks?” and continue to read tons of dating advice telling them to wait for a real man who knows how to show his feelings, aka a unicorn.
But the real truth is that we can’t really blame men for being ‘emotionally immature’ and not in touch with their feelings because they were literally taught so by society.
They grew up in a more complex environment and harsh conditions that have altered their mindset and by it, their future behavior.
To understand more about how their mind works, here is a list of real (and somewhat surprising) reasons explaining why men hide their feelings!
1. They don’t understand what they really feel
One of the reasons why men hide their feelings is because they simply don’t understand what they feel.
After all, falling in love is complex and for the majority of people (men) it’s a confusing emotion.
And when we don’t understand something, it comes to us naturally to hide from that thing or in this case, to hide our feelings.
So, when a man starts feeling overwhelmed by not understanding what is really going on, it comes to him naturally to retreat to his man cave and hide his feelings.
Sadly, when this happens, many women think that they need to use force in order to get a man to open up to them.
But the only thing men really need is encouragement and more time to accept their emotions and finally understand what they really feel.
Also, journaling is a great self-help method for this one.
2. They get scared of their feelings
Let’s assume that a man understands perfectly what he feels but he decides to hide his feelings.
Why is that so? It is probably because he’s scared of what he feels.
He’s scared of his feelings because he’s totally overwhelmed by them.
Falling in love is something that changes us completely and many people (especially men) are afraid of the things they have no control over.
When your body and mind starts falling in love and when you start developing feelings for someone, you cannot influence any of it.
You can only watch how you’re making a fool out of yourself while staring at a person you really like and being mute for half a minute because you have no idea what to really say to them.
You can only blindly follow your emotions and let them rule your world or you can just hide.
The other option is often chosen by men because they get too scared of all of this.
Often, they just need more time and continual encouragement that what they feel is okay and that nothing bad will happen to them.
3. Men need more time to get in touch with their emotions
Believe it or not, contrary to women, men definitely need more time to get in touch with their emotions.
Let’s suppose that a man and a woman have been on several dates by now and they’re really crazy about each other and they would like to spend time together.
But who do you think will be crazier in love?
The man or the woman? Of course, it is always the woman and this is not a coincidence.
Women don’t need that much time to realize what they really feel or what they really want because from an early age, they’ve been encouraged to show their feelings and that is why they don’t have any difficulty understanding them.
We could say that when a woman is one hundred percent sure that this is it, a man is only halfway there because he needs more time to get in touch with all those feelings and emotions.
Because of this, it often happens that a woman loses her interest when a man finally realizes what he really wants. Oh, the irony!
4. They don’t want to lose power and appear too vulnerable
Remember what I said about boys pretending to be rough and tough warriors devoid of emotions?
Well, that is one of the biggest reasons why men hide their feelings.
They don’t want to lose power and appear too vulnerable in front of someone they like because they are taught to exhibit their masculine traits only.
They are convinced that if they show a woman what they really feel, they will appear too sensitive which (according to them) is not an attractive trait to have because they are men and they are supposed to be rough and tough.
But when a man starts feeling safe with and free of judgment from a woman he really likes, he will gradually decide to be an open book with her.
5. They are afraid that they will kill the chasing game if they don’t hide their feelings
We all enjoy hearing that someone is crazy about us and we enjoy it when they show us they’re interested.
And we all know that there is always someone who is more open than the other person when it comes to the initial stages of dating.
That someone who is more open is, in most cases, a woman because she gets in touch with her emotions faster.
And since many men (just like women) enjoy being chased, they choose to deliberately hide their feelings so that the chasing game lasts longer.
But usually, once they sense that a woman starts losing interest in playing this type of game, they instantly change and start showing what they really feel.
They get afraid of losing the woman they really like and that is why they choose to finally unravel their feelings.
6. They are afraid that their feelings will be used against them
Every man is perfectly aware of the fact that the moment he shows his feelings, the game changes.
A man knows that once he tells a woman how he really feels about her, she will have more power over him and his feelings might be used against him.
Men are afraid of women using their feelings to make them jealous or constantly reminding them of their feelings and asking for reassurance, or they are afraid of new standards that will force them to always give their maximum.
They want to be in love but sometimes they are afraid that their decision to show how they feel will backfire on them.
In most cases, this is closely connected with insecurity and past painful events where someone has used their feelings against them and now they’re afraid that the same thing will happen again.
7. Sometimes, they wait for the woman to make the first move
If a man is afraid that his feelings will be used against him, that he will lose power and appear too vulnerable, or if doesn’t trust a woman yet, he will wait for her to make the first move.
I know this sounds cowardly but that’s just how they’re wired and we simply can’t blame them for that.
Sometimes, a man will wait forever (if needed) for a woman to show her feelings so that he feels safe to finally show his own too.
So, this is basically not about hiding his feelings but is more like postponing and waiting for the perfect moment to show them.
Unlike women, men will always have difficulties expressing their feelings because of their background (especially their childhood) where they’ve been taught to always appear as masculine as they can.
Men are taught that feelings are literally for pussies and that is the main root of this everlasting problem (if it can even be called a problem).
It’s actually no longer seen as a problem, as it has become the norm and more and more women are dealing with it on a daily basis.
If you’re a woman reading this, please do not lose patience.
Remember that the majority of the fear and them hiding their feelings stems from discouragement by society.
Also, remember that every man has the potential to be an open book and it is just a matter of time when he will be ready to show you what he really feels!
On that journey, I wish you good luck and I send you lots of love and patience!