As you all know, I’ve been in four relationships in my life. My first relationship started when I was 17 (yeah, I wasn’t really the social sort). I’m 26 now and I’ve seen a lot of things and learned a lot of life lessons out of being in love. I’ve been cheated on, twice. I’ve shared enormous happiness, I’ve cried, I’ve laughed, I’ve grown. I wanted to jot down some of the life lessons I’ve learned from those relationships, every relationship teaches you something, whether it’s good or bad, we always move on more mature. After the article, I want you guys to tell me what you’ve learned. Let’s begin.
8. Truth prevails, every single time
No matter who you’re with, no matter what sort of a person they are, the truth always prevails. Like I said, I’ve been cheated on twice in my life. No matter how much they tried to hide the truth from me, it eventually found its way to me, that’s just how life is. The happy people among us are those who are truthful and honest, because lies eventually get caught. Honest relationships are the strong ones, where transparency holds more importance than anything else.
My current relationship is an honest one, I’ve never seen such transparency in my life, it sometimes gets a little too much to handle but the feeling of trust I get out of it is just beautiful and very overpowering. Have you ever been with someone you couldn’t trust? Who broke your trust at one point and tried really hard to gain it back? I know the feeling, the feeling of uncertainty. Trust is THE most vital part of every relationship, there is no happiness without it.
7. Giving up is never an option
You can’t just give up on someone you love, you just can’t. When you share a life with someone, you become a part of each other’s lives to a level that is very hard to achieve and takes a lot of time. You can’t just give up on that because times are tough, times will always be tough, one way or the other. Life in general isn’t easy, if it comes easy it won’t be good for you. Everything good in life takes a lot of effort to achieve and does not come easy.
If you’re at a point in your relationship where it seems like you’ll be giving up soon, don’t. Develop the strength and courage to see it till the end, or at least put as much effort as you humanly can to make it work. Those who give up, never truly cared to begin with.
6.В Everyone has seen a dark past
This is something people need to understand, all of us has had it bad in the past one way or the other. All of us have gone through a fair share of dark moments and experiences, dark times that became a part of our lives and stayed with us until we could completely move on from them. If someone seems really happy now, it doesn’t mean they “had it better” than you. People look at me and ask me how I’m never sad and how I try finding the humour in even the most serious of situations, they think I’m a completely chilled out guy and I’ve never faced any sad or traumatic moments, well I have. I’ve had 15 years of trauma and I’m currently at a point in my life where I just don’t want to be sad anymore.
Don’t judge a person by the way they look or act today, you don’t know what they’ve been through, you don’t know about the struggles, be kind towards everyone.
5. This too shall pass
One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned. We all have and will go through difficult times in life, times that seem like they just won’t end, like we are going to be sad and depressed forever, but it doesn’t end that way. This too shall pass. No matter what you’re going through today, fight the pain, fight the sadness, focus on the smallest of things that are positive, you will get out of it, you will go back to your happy self again, nothing can break you, time heals all wounds. The challenges life throws your way may be difficult, but they’re not impossible.
4. Jealousy is a horrible, horrible thing
Jealousy can only lead to bad things. It’s okay to be a little jealous, but it will destroy you if you let it take over you. Jealousy makes a person insecure, it has a very negative effect on their personality. When a person is jealous, they allow themselves to give in to their insecurities, which makes them paranoid and unhappy. Your insecurities will go on for as long as you allow them to. An insecure person can never be truly happy with life, with friends, with family and in relationships. Fight your insecurities, don’t let them take over you.
3. Trust is very easy to break
As I mentioned before, Trust is THE most vital part of every relationship. It takes ages to develop a certain level of trust with someone and it takes mere seconds to break that trust into pieces. Once the trust is gone, it may never comes back. And in my own experience, even if two people try their best to make their trust come back and be like it once used to, it will never come back the same. It will always have that emptiness in it, emptiness that doesn’t really fill up in time.
This is important, do whatever you can to preserve the trust you have with your partner, you don’t know how fragile it is and how easily it can break. Don’t play with trust.
2. Time is the best gift
I’ve been in a relationship where money mattered a lot, I’ve also been in one where it didn’t matter at all, money is definitely not the root of any sort of happiness (not long-term happiness, at least). Time, on the other hand, is the best gift to give to the person you love. Time is precious, to share your time with someone is to really let them know you care for them and love them more than they know or understand. Spending time with someone tells them they’re important to you and their presence matters, it also tells them that their presence makes you happy.
1. Love yourself, above everything else
You simply can’t love someone until you completely love yourself and the person you are. And don’t ever let someone else be more important to you than you yourself. It’s not about being selfish, but one should always remember their own importance in this world, the importance of their lives. You can’t base your happiness on someone else, you never know when they’d leave. Your happiness should come from you!