When you just met him, you were convinced that you finally met the right person, your dream guy, your Prince Charming (okay, I think you get the point) because he was just DIFFERENT and because he did all the right things!
You thought you were dreaming because you couldn’t believe that this was happening to you.
You couldn’t believe that you finally met that one guy who is a total keeper, right?!
You caught feelings quickly, or better said in a record time, out of fear that you’ll wake up and realize that you were in a coma or in a long, awesome dream, and you simply didn’t want to risk losing all of this.
You convinced your heart that this time will be different because THIS GUY is all you ever wanted and needed.
But now, you actually have no idea where he is, what he’s doing or thinking because this guy, your dream guy, has simply disappeared into thin air.
Or he’s texting habits have turned into one word texts twice a month because of some super important things he can’t miss, not even if his life was at stake.
The only time he’s willing to make a serious effort is when he needs to think of a perfect excuse and make you think that you’re the crazy one (or at least try to).
But, you know that all of this is bullshit because you’ve probably been playing detective as every woman out there who is feeling sad, hurt, and disappointed.
You know exactly how much time he spends on social networks, and how full of shit he really is, but you don’t understand one thing:
You have no idea why you let yourself catch feelings so quickly for him like he’s the only person in the world, as if falling in love equals breathing and you wanted to make sure that you’re getting the right amount of it.
What have you done wrong? How could you even think that he was long-term relationship material when in reality he’s more of a FWB – ‘friends with benefits‘, ‘casual hookup material’ or ‘no f**ks given’ prick?
How can you stop yourself from continuing catching feelings for the wrong guy?
Well, let me remind you of one thing: Making a guy your priority from the start without giving him some time to deserve it first will only result in him losing interest and taking you for granted.
And that is how your “right guy” becomes the wrong guy!
So, no matter how much you’re excited about your cutie pie, your new special guy, you can’t act like you just went to a grocery store and found yourself a perfect new thing that you will keep worshipping and treating with special care without first checking its quality.
Because the more you’re going out of your way to initiate things, to surprise him, to always be there when he needs you (and even when he doesn’t), to be just perfect, the more you will push him away from yourself! Why?
Because no one in the world will ever choose to reciprocate if you’re constantly putting them on a pedestal even when they didn’t deserve any of it. And now it’s time to stop doing all of that!
It’s time to stop catching feelings for the wrong guy and to work on preserving your self-respect and self-love.
It’s time to look at the other, brighter side of the road which will both help you delete the feelings you caught for the wrong guy and prevent you from repeating it in the future!
1. Stay active in your social life and appreciate other connections
When we’re being ignored, taken for granted or disrespected by someone we’re crazy about, the first thing that comes to our mind naturally is how lonely we are all of a sudden.
It’s so easy to lose ourselves while chasing someone we believed was the right person for us.
But, you need to know that you’re not alone.
You were just blinded for some time because the only thing you could think about was HIM. You laid all your hopes into this romantic venture so that you forgot you have other connections as well.
You spent lots of your time imagining being curled up next to him while watching your favorite TV show, cuddling and kissing until you got tired of it, and you probably even imagined how you’re going to spend the next few years and what exactly you will be doing.
And even if he never gave you any reassurance regarding all of this, you simply never stopped dreaming because it felt so good, right?
And now that you’re aware of the fact that you caught feelings for the wrong guy, you want to get rid of them ASAP.
Well, the key to getting rid of them is in realizing that you have your OWN life with amazing people in it. All you need to do is reconnect with them!
You need to recognize the endless possibilities you have at your disposal, and forget that one guy because he doesn’t deserve to be the centre of your universe!
You’ve tried enough times to make it work and you have every right to keep dating others (and you definitely should) no matter how weird it sounds to you. Why?
Because you never know whom you’re going to meet.
The only reason why you think that the guy you caught feelings for is the only guy you should ever consider being with is because you made yourself think so. You wanted to believe it even though it’s a complete lie.
Don’t limit your potential because that way, you’ll never learn how to reach greatness!
Instead of blindly pursuing the wrong guy, you should keep dating, stay active in your social life, and maintain connections with your best friends and family because you owe it to yourself!
And, trust me, you deserve it. You deserve someone to whom you’ll be the centre of attention, who will spoil you, and who will know how to reciprocate.
You deserve someone who will be crazy about you just the way you’re crazy about him!
2. Question your feelings (or find something that will make you do so)
The number one reason why is it so hard to stop thinking about someone we shouldn’t be crazy about is because we still think they’re awesome (even if we end up being in a friendzone).
We’re convinced that they are the embodiment of greatness because we wanted to believe it and not because it’s true.
If you’ve caught feelings for the wrong guy, you need to question those feelings because they are not real.
You probably imagined him as a perfect guy who will make you happy, who will make you feel special, and who will fight for you because only he is capable of doing so. Or is he?
The sole fact that he’s not reciprocating or at least trying to do so tells a lot about his character and priorities.
You need to cut all of this at the very root, and you’ll do it by focusing on his flaws instead of “qualities.”
It’s really hard to forget someone when you’re constantly focused on imagining a future with them and perceiving them as a god/goddess because by doing that, you’re downplaying yourself.
By doing that, you’re convincing yourself that you’re not good enough or that you’re not worthy of being with them and that you need to pursue them even harder in order for them to notice you.
No. You need to do the exact opposite. You need to realize that they’re an imperfect human being just like yourself, and they have tons of flaws and negative sides just like everyone else.
Even if you stayed with them, your relationship would be far from perfect and far from what you imagined it to be.
Question your feelings, question your investment, and do a reality check because it’s the only way to realizing that you deserve better than what you’re accepting in return.
3. Make some personal goals, and work toward them
You know what’s the best cure for everything and especially for forgetting the guy you caught feelings for? It’s distracting yourself and being busy. But, not any kind of being busy.
It’s about being busy for the sake of improving your life, achieving important life goals, and becoming the best version of yourself. Think about it this way:
If you continue constantly thinking about some guy who doesn’t even know you exist or who doesn’t bother knowing that you exist or reciprocating, you will waste large amounts of your time that no one will ever return to you.
You can return the dresses you just bought in every shop, you can apologize and make up for something you’ve done wrong, but you can never turn back time, no matter what you did.
Time is the only thing more worthwhile than anything in the world, and you how to be careful of how you’re using it.
Instead of wasting it on thinking about ‘What if’ or ‘I should have’, make some personal goals, and work toward them.
Instead of wasting your time on thinking about the guy you want to forget, focus on enriching your life with different perspectives, learning new languages, finding new hobbies, and becoming the best version of yourself!
At the end of the day, you are all you’ve got, and wouldn’t it be better to use your potential and turn your life into an awesome story instead of using it to keep regretting something that wasn’t even meant to be?
4. Don’t act on any of your impulses
If you want to forget him and delete him from your life, you need to learn not to act on any of your impulses! What does this mean?
It means controlling your urges to text him for the hundredth time, controlling your urges that are forcing you to call him, stop stalking him on social media or to expressing any kind of declarations of love and your affection for him.
You need to understand the difference between your impulses and your feelings.
Impulses are those little voices in your head forcing you to do things only for the sake of satisfying uncontrollable and unreasonable cravings that are toxic for your well-being.
Whenever you feel a strong desire to see, call or text him, remind yourself of that.
Remind yourself that what you’re feeling is not real, and, therefore, you should not be acting on any of it because these are just impulses that can be IGNORED.
Understand that this has nothing to do with your real feelings, and repeat this sentence frequently:
“I’m aware of the fact that I caught feelings for him, and still my feelings are the ones preventing me from letting go, thus making me do stupid things.”
For the first time in your life, delete him from every social media app, turn off your phone, and the most important thing – STOP HOPING that things will change magically somehow.
Maybe they will, maybe they won’t, but one thing is sure: Nothing will ever change as long as you’re still chasing him and acting on your impulses!
You need to detach yourself from these toxic urges to still be a part of his life because it’s not healthy, and it will not bring you anything good.
You don’t deserve to waste your life on waiting for someone to start noticing you or to change their behavior and start reciprocating.
You deserve to be happy in the moment, to notice all those little things that bring you joy, to drink your favorite beverages, to dance to your favorite music and to have the time of your life with your friends.
You deserve to live a carefree life and to be driven by excitement and all the good things that life can offer.
So, say ‘yes’ to freedom and say ‘no’ to acting on your impulses! Say ‘yes’ to happiness and say ‘no’ to torture!
5. Up your self-care and learn to love yourself more
One of the sad reasons why we often lose ourselves at some point in our lives is because we’re not satisfied with ourselves.
That is why we tend to seek some validation from others in order to feel worthy again. That is why we tend to fall hard and in record time for someone we perceive as an ideal.
We think that if we succeed in making them notice us, we will automatically level up our own value, and everything will come into place. We want to feel loved, appreciated, and we want to become whole.
When we feel that way, it’s so easy to get lost in chasing the wrong people and wrong ideals, and that is why you need to up your self-care and learn to love yourself more!
You need to admit to yourself that you’re an imperfect human being with lots of flaws and that’s exactly what makes you so unique and beautiful!
Spoil yourself with long bubble baths, reread your favorite books, practicing positive affirmations on a daily basis, hit the gym, and focus on the positive things only.
Love yourself enough not to let anything in your life drain you or make you feel less worthy.
Love yourself enough to forgive yourself for not treating yourself like a priority. Love yourself enough to stop only focusing on other people’s happiness—learn to be the master of your own!
6. Find the strength to accept the things you cannot change
One of the hardest things to do in life is finding strength to accept the things you cannot change.
Whenever we’re having difficulties in our life, we instantly focus on finding the reason why this is happening to us and how can we make it right.
But, sometimes, or to be more precise, the majority of the time, the only thing we need to do is ACCEPT.
We need to find the strength to accept the things we cannot change.
So what if he’s not answering your calls, texting you back or showing affection?
Instead of being mad at yourself, the people around you and Lord knows whom else, decide to find the strength to accept it because you can’t change it.
The only person who can change his behavior is himself, and if he still hasn’t decided to do so, there’s no need to bother yourself with it, to overthink or to constantly keep finding solutions that will help you change things.
Sometimes, the only wise thing to do is not to do anything at all, and just accept things as they are.
Sometimes, you need to fall in order to rise again and become stronger, wiser, and to learn to love yourself more.
The bottom line is you need to give up on expecting things, and focus on what you already have in front of you—focus on what’s real and worthy of your time and effort!
You need to treat yourself with respect, and work on boosting your self-love because that’s the only way to finding true happiness!
Whenever you find yourself catching feelings for the wrong guy, you need to take a deep breathe and focus on appreciating all the love and things you already have in your life.
You need to stay active in your social life, and you need to keep questioning your feelings for him instead of letting them devour you.
You need to make some personal goals and strive to achieve them instead of living in an illusion, secretly hoping that he will change his mind over night.
You need to keep living your best life, and the moment you start doing that, everything else will come into place as well!
In the meantime, focus on catching other things as the following quote about caught feelings suggests: “Catch flights, not feelings!” – Unknown