Modern dating has become more of a gambling game than dating, and if you add the extrovert–introvert combination to the story, there you have it – a recipe for a potential roller-coaster (or perhaps not?)
Just kidding, there’s no need to worry. Introverts and extroverts are perfectly capable of creating harmonious and healthy relationships together.
To be more precise, they are perfectly capable of entering happily ever after mode, but under one condition: If they agree on compromising, learning things about each other, and respecting each other’s differences!
What does this mean?
It means that an extrovert–introvert relationship will only be successful if partners pay attention to celebrating each other’s personality traits and embracing their personality types instead of solely judging.
You know what they say: Opposites attract! Now, I’m not really sure how or why, but I’ll try to explain my take on it.
Let’s say we have A and B. A is outgoing, active, always open for small talk, social interactions in large groups, and different social situations.
And then we have B who mostly prefers alone time instead of spending time in large groups of people, needs lots of time to open up (especially on a first date if they even manage to get there), and requires some quiet time to recharge from the noise of humans and their draining energies.
As you may assume, A is a fellow extrovert, whereas B is a fellow introvert.
When we put it all like this, it’s hard to even imagine that they could ever be able to create a balanced and happy relationship, right? But, as we already stated – opposites attract!
Both introverted partner and extroverted partner are capable of enriching each other’s lives with different perspectives, mindsets, and values. And that’s the real beauty of mixing this introversion–extroversion cocktail!
They both have sides that are totally confusing to each other, but the moment they decide to show their unique inner world, they’re attracted to each other like a magnet.
Both extroverted and introverted persons fill each other’s gaps, give answers to unanswerable questions, bring different qualities to the table, and together create something truly amazing.
In short, they can create something truly stunning only if they agree to compromise, be open to learn things about the other, and respect the fact that they have differences.
So, if you want to avoid entering a dangerous roller-coaster zone while dating introverts, here are the key things you need to know before dating one!
DATING INTROVERTS: 14 KEY THINGS TO KNOW BEFORE DATING THEM
1. Introverts need to recharge alone
When dating introverts, the most important dating tip to keep in mind is the fact that they need to recharge alone and need to do it often.
While extroverts mainly recharge while socializing, an introvert needs time alone to process their feelings, emotions, and other people’s energy.
This is extremely important to remember because there will be times when an introvert will act a little, let’s say, weird all of a sudden and may even avoid everyone around them or act indifferent.
When that happens, you need to know that it’s nothing serious and it has nothing to do with you.
If an introvert starts acting odd and tells you that they need some time alone, rest assured that they’re not trying to get rid of you or break up with you.
They just need some time to process their thoughts and feelings in solitude. After that, they’ll come back as new.
2. They prefer online dating over clubbing
It’s no wonder that clubbing is specifically reserved for extroverts because introverts mostly prefer spending time on dating apps like Tinder and online dating sites before meeting someone in public (especially in a club). Why is that so?
There are several reasons:
- a) Introverts prefer hanging out alone or in small groups (they don’t enjoy being encircled by tons of people).
- b) They prefer quiet places or places with toned down music instead of loudness.
- c) They prefer keyboard-to-keyboard communication over eye-to-eye.
Introverts favor online dating before meeting someone in the club because they have more time to express themselves by typing – more time to think carefully before saying anything.
An introvert doesn’t feel comfortable yelling and hearing every three words during a conversation.
Also, they are often stressed about talking with someone in person and that’s why online dating is a less nerve-racking method where they don’t have to worry that they will appear weird for saying something wrong or for making strange facial gestures.
3. They prefer texting over calling
No matter how long they’ve known you, introverts will always prefer texting before calling, except in extreme cases, like an emergency. The reason is basically the same as stated in the above point.
They prefer texting because they have more time to think about all they want to say and evaluate the importance of their words.
Introverts live for meaningful conversations and that’s why they couldn’t forgive themselves if they were to utter total bullshit to the person they dig.
They’re sensitive about their thoughts, so it’s no surprise that they’re also sensitive to the way they’re conveyed.
Dating introverts means being ready to communicate via texts only and accept that there will be very little to no phone calls at all.
But, given that introverts are willing to compromise, there is always a possibility of mixing of the two and finding the much needed balance between the two polar personalities.
4. They’re willing to compromise
As already said, believe it or not, introverts are flexible people who are willing to compromise, even though they often find it hard to step out of their comfort zone.
They’re ready to adapt to different environments, learn new things and perspectives, and question their own reality.
Even though they feel best on their own in their own inner world created by themselves, they’re still willing to compromise because they’re aware of the fact that compromise is the only way to evolving and maintaining a healthy relationship with other people.
They appreciate every sweet gesture and other people’s sacrifices and willingness to compromise, and they want to return the favor in the same way.
So, there’ll be times they’d want to stay at home and watch Netflix while their partner will want to do the exact opposite – go out for a drink or something.
No matter how unappealing the idea of going out seems to them at the time, they’ll still do it because next time their partner will sacrifice going out for staying in instead.
5. If they start acting weird, it’s because they need more “introverting” time alone
This often happens after spending lots of time in crowded places or in large groups of people.
When all of this ends, an introvert will instantly look for shelter to hide and restore their energy.
But, depending on the amount of time spent socializing, introverts might need more time than usual to come to their senses and feel fully restored.
And when that happens, you’ll know it because they’ll suddenly start acting strange and stressed out, and being overly sensitive to everything.
So, if they start behaving this way, it’s not because they changed their mind about you or decided to hold grudges for no reason.
It’s because they need to spend more “introverting” time alone than usual.
6. They’re good listeners
Dating introverts means always having someone to listen to you, encourage you, and give you the best advice.
The number one reason why introverts are the best listeners is because they experience everything from the inside, aka internally.
They aren’t really talkative by nature, but are gifted with careful listening.
They spend lots of time calculating, pondering the pros and cons of every action, and thinking about their personality, improvement, real life struggles, and whatnot.
They’re good listeners because they have great skills when it comes to organizing thoughts and converting them into meaningful solutions and helpful advice.
7. They always think carefully before saying something
The majority of people (read: extroverts) don’t really bother spending much time overthinking and overanalyzing every word.
They usually just go with the flow during small talk and casual conversations.
But, introverts are the total opposite. They ALWAYS think carefully before saying something out loud.
For them, a conversation is not simply exchanging words, it is so much more.
They see conversation as something that needs to have a flow and idea, and it has to convey a powerful message.
So, if you pressure an introvert to explain something to you under pressure because you’re in a hurry, everything they say will not make much sense and you might even think they’re lying.
They’re not lying, though; they just haven’t had time to organize their thoughts and think about a perfect way to say what they really mean.
8. They need some time to open up
Dating introverts requires special skills, such as lots of patience and understanding, because an introvert needs some time to open up.
So, when you go on a date for the first time with an introvert, expect that you’ll not learn much about them.
Instead, they’ll most probably be reserved and a little uncomfortable because they’re not ready to talk about themselves to someone they don’t know well yet. And that’s where you come in.
If you ever find yourself in a situation where you’re on a date with an introvert, please don’t lose your mind and accuse them of being autistic or selfish.
Instead, show them compassion and understanding by being willing to talk about yourself or other things instead of only judging them for being withdrawn.
And over time, they’ll give you more and more details about their life, preferences, hobbies, and everything else.
So, all they need is some time and patience before they gradually open up to the full.
9. They worship commitment and true intimacy
Introverts are not really the type of people who prefer one night stands or relationships with benefits. Instead, they value commitment and true intimacy.
If they’re going to be in a relationship with someone, they want to make sure to do it right and be 100% invested with their body, mind, and soul.
To them, commitment is holy and something that requires effort, patience, and constant work.
They worship meaningful conversation in the small hours, they worship true emotional intimacy instead of only physical intercourse.
They are devoted to the core in every spectrum of a relationship and they couldn’t forgive themselves if they were the one who ruined everything by acting irresponsibly or childishly.
10. They’re highly sensitive to emotions
Dating introverts means being ready to let them spend lots of time contemplating different things and seeing them in extra sensitive “limited editions.”
Since they spend lots of time thinking, they evoke different sorts of emotions, which can easily overwhelm them and sometimes make them overly sensitive to almost everything.
When that happens, you shouldn’t really bother them. If an introvert senses that you’re trying to fix them, they will become enraged and likely ignore you.
The best thing to do is let them deal with it all on their own and be there for them when they’re ready to talk.
Also, it’s important to accentuate once again that introverts are extra sensitive to other people’s emotions as well.
That’s why they sometimes get drained by just feeling what other people are feeling. After that, they need plenty of time to recharge and filter those emotions.
11. They have difficulties dealing with conflict
The main reason why introverts have difficulties dealing with conflict is because they get too overwhelmed in their explosion of different emotions.
It’s too much for them to bear and that’s why they become numb and act like they’re not interested in arguing further.
Depending from which perspective you’re looking at this, it’s actually a good thing because in this way, balance is created in a relationship.
For example, an extrovert is determined to continue arguing with an introvert, but an introvert is determined to get out of the conflict and deal with it later in a more calm manner.
When you connect two different personalities, they create a balance that is much needed in every relationship and every aspect of today’s society.
12. They’re some of the most empathetic people
Introverts are, without a doubt, one of the most comforting people out there because of their ability to understand other people’s emotions and identify with their thoughts and ideas.
They simply know how to convince someone to think positively and stop worrying about trivial things.
And when something bad happens, they’re ready to be there for you for days and nights if needed, because if someone they care about feels restless, they also won’t be able to be at peace with themselves.
They’re the ones to remember your favorite sweets, massage pattern, and TV show, and they’ll make sure to start working on making you feel better the second they see that you’re feeling down.
13. They value meaningful conversations
If there’s one thing introverts really hate, it’s superficial conversations.
They simply can’t stand it because to them talking for the sake of only talking is a huge waste of time.
They’d rather enjoy engaging in meaningful talk about the injustice of society, alien invasion, pursuit of happiness, weird hobbies, gaming, you name it.
So, if you want to get an introvert open up to you, all you need to do is choose a topic to their preference and enjoy long sessions of inspiring, meaningful conversations.
14. They don’t need fixing
When they’re acting weird, when they refuse your company, when they don’t want to call you, or the like, it’s not because there’s something wrong with them.
So don’t ever try to fix them – they don’t need fixing.
All they need is to be accepted for who they are and understood just as they are giving their best to understand how other people function.
So, if you’re dating an introvert at the moment or if you ever end up dating one, keep in mind that they don’t need fixing. That’s just how they’re wired.
You need to understand that they have this complex personality that can sometimes be a little bit draining and overwhelming even for them, but deep inside they’re just sensitive human beings who are afraid of being judged for saying or doing something they didn’t really mean.
They are just sensitive people who connect in a more complex way and whose big hearts are perfectly capable of loving and committing selflessly and unconditionally.
Before dating an introvert, you need to keep in mind that they are the exact opposite of extroverts and need lots of understanding and patience.
Their mind is a complex mosaic of unique thoughts and emotions that they’re processing every second.
They get easily drained by other people’s emotions, after which they need to spend some time alone in order to gather themselves.
When they have feelings for someone or fall in love, they’re one of the most dedicated and committed partners out there!
We could say that dating an introvert is a beautiful experience full of mini ups and downs that can be easily overcome if both partners are willing to compromise and honor each other’s differences.
It is an exciting journey full of sacrifice, blessings, and unconditional love!