The end of a loving relationship is always painful. The reactions are different from person to person but for those who are experiencing this period it is useful to know that immediately after the end of a relationship there are 4 phases to overcome.
Of course, not all of them are like that, a lot depends on their previous experiences throughout their lives, if they are facing separation from a great love for the first time and if there have been similar experiences before.
Yes, because the end of a love and a relationship is always a bad time. To manage this emotionally difficult phase of life it is important to know the four phases that follow a separation and to know which of these you are in order to have a tool of knowledge that can help you overcome the end of a love more quickly.
The 4 phases of separation
The “not true” phase
It’s a shock. A slap in the face that comes from the person you love so much. A real upheaval. You can’t believe it and don’t want to admit it. Life in common, dreams together for the future, all vanished forever? At this stage, one loses oneself in one’s thoughts and one tends to think that perhaps one’s former partner could change his mind again and get back together. Indeed, we try to devise every possible strategy for the “reconquest” of the now ex.
In this phase of separation, the “I can’t believe” phase tends to interpret and give untruthful and credible meanings that are little relevant to reality with every word or action of the former partner to fuel useless hopes.
After some time, you start to wonder if you will ever come out of the black hole of sadness, pain, disbelief in which you have fallen.
This moment can help in the initial period after separation
It must be admitted that the relationship is over and that the former partner will not change his mind again. He or she has decided. It is important at this stage of separation to trust one’s friends and family. They will have the heavy task of distracting you from the former partner’s fixed thought .
A huge mistake in this of the separation is to continue to have contact with the ex-partner or to look for him again. It is really useful for some time to stop completely (SMS, Facebook, mutual friends, etc.) any contact with the former.
The phase of emotional chaos
In the second phase it is possible to understand that the relationship is really over. Unfortunately, many people at this stage fall into another deeper emotional hole. Now the separation is real and is accompanied by a wide range of emotions such as anger, sadness, hope, pain or despair. In this phase of separation we only listen to our feelings. During this time it feels like the ground under our feet is gone.
Unfortunately, this phase is often the longest of the four distinct phases in which we must survive. But this too will be overcome.
What helps in emotional chaos
The most important step has already been taken: internally it was accepted that the relationship is over. Now it will be important to live your feelings and not repress them. Psychologists advise in this separation phase to write a journal or write down feelings and thoughts about your former partner. This helps in the metabolization of emotions and guarantees a faster recovery because writing down one’s feelings favors the release from sentimental chaos.
The reorientation phase
The third phase of separation may be slower but it is the one in which you ascend again. Even if the thought still goes to the ex-partner, the periods between one thought and another tend to expand and to be shorter, less heavy and less painful.
He takes life by the hand again. Slowly you can feel new energy and zest for life. It takes time and it is at this stage that you begin to do things and activities that were previously unthinkable. We meet new people and discover potentialities hidden within ourselves.
This facilitates the reorientation phase
Being open to new ideas, meeting new people, starting new businesses and dealing with the things you wanted to do for a long time and were not possible especially with the ex-partner.
The next step is to start talking about feelings again and start seeing the positive things about separation.
The “new horizons” phase
In the fourth phase of the separation survived. The ex-partner and your relationship is now a thing of the past. We experience more and more things in life and we can start feeling that maybe the separation was right. Now you can enjoy every aspect of your life and be happy again in the world. And who knows? Maybe someone will smile at us again soon. Someone you’ve never seen before. Someone who starts calling “love”.
Every separation provides new opportunities for true love
In none of these four distinct phases can you imagine that there are seeds of a future full of love. But instead it is so! After a certain period of time – often even years later – many people become aware that separation from the former partner or divorce had something good.
After the end of all four phases, you can look back with greater clarity and clarity and have a positive reminder of the ex-partner!