We’ve all been there, but all of them!
Already, we are talking about a break of an unwanted couple , a lost love , a broken heart . But how to get out of it, how to leave behind anguish and sadness, frustration and regrets?
In short, how can we forget the former ?
There are no secret formulas and perhaps time and the ability to metabolize loss will play an important role in being able to open the heart again and return to being happy again.
But what are the right attitudes to assume to suffer as little as possible after the end of a love ?
Here are 5 things to do right away!
1- Take care of yourself!
Okey, okey everyone told you so, friends and relatives, take care of yourself, now you can only think of yourself. In short, these are the most common phrases that listen to our ears when we experience a bad break.
But abandonment stress is the number one factor for any addiction. The feeling of oppression, anxiety, fear, sadness sets in motion a sort of “vicious circle” whereby the abandoned person tends to concentrate only on the event and on pain and can become dependent on it.
What to do? Even if you absolutely don’t want to, you have to fight against yourself and anticipate stress. It can help take care of yourself: make a phone call to a friend who lives far away, book a massage, prepare yourself a nice hot bath or anything that can calm your nerves and pamper your spirit.
2- Why are you obsessed with your ex?
Why is it so hard to forget an ex? Even when the relationship ends the piece of road made together is not easily erased from your mind or body (eh yes, chemistry survives the bond).
Eye however that the condition of having been left usually leads to idealize a relationship that instead was perhaps not at the top . Pain and, above all the feeling of mourning and abandonment, set in motion a perverse mechanism that often leads us to remember only the beautiful sides of history and to forget the unpleasant ones. In this way we do nothing but feed our pain with wrong nutrition .
Even if the story was a real disaster it is often difficult for you to believe that you have wasted your time and heart on those who weren’t worth it. The panic in these cases can turn into obsession distorting reality .
To those of us who did not think of this thought: “… and if I can no longer find anyone else? “In these moments instead of making us take the dismay and improbable reflections we must be able to think that our life does not end with the end of a love story , we must change and replace the previous habits by leveraging a considerable dose of self-control and a bit of self-acceptance.
3- Find a model
Science has shown that we can draw strength from the people we admire and strengthen our determination simply by trying to think about how they would behave in our place. Just look around: cinema, music, media, but also colleagues and friends. Who is your example of a strong person who has rebuilt his life? Take it as an example and try to learn from his steps.
4- A new purpose
Starting a new relationship immediately after a bad break is not the best solution . Abandonment must be metabolised in the same way as mourning. Spend time with yourself and focus on your passions! What did you always like to do but you never had time and courage to pursue such as a hobby, a dream, now the time has come! So instead of thinking of the former sign up for a course, clean up the walls of your home, in short, change your habits!
5- The opposite effect
There is a method that works great for not forgetting your ex: trying at all costs to delete it from the mind. Anglo-Saxon psychologists call it ” the white beard effect “.
If you try not to think of a white beard, here you will immediately appear in your mind without even realizing it. It is scientifically proven for all kinds of temptations.
Dieters who try not to think about chocolate, become obsessed with it (and eat a lot more). Smokers who try not to think about cigarettes end up smoking more. A study has revealed that if you try not to think of the former, you are more inclined to dream about it .
So when you think back to the former, don’t panic! Always remember why he is an ex and focus your attention on someone you really care about: yourself.