When your stomach drops but your mind feels clear and confused all at once, the world feels as though it has come crashing down and you wish to be anywhere but here, experiencing this pain that feels never-ending.
You fight feelings of worthlessness or hopelessness, wondering how life can continue as normal without this person, whether it’s a bereavement or relationship breakdown. You struggle to process how commuters at the train station, colleagues at work, and friends on social media are seemingly having the time of their lives while yours has just fallen apart. What’s worse is the sinking feeling of realization that from this moment onwards, nothing will ever be the same.
But there’s something bittersweet about heartbreak. It isn’t an experience you would voluntarily sign up for, nor is it something you manifest to happen. Yet it’s a shapely event that often doubles as a form of awakening. To go through heartbreak of any kind is to completely transform one’s self. And to completely transform one’s self is to shed the skin that once was and embrace the new and improved.
Heartbreak is a molding experience. Where a creation is made and the former cast shed, though painful, this is where the growth occurs and dead petals clinging on have permission to exuviate.
The shock of a loss is one which thrusts upon you self-awareness and the necessity to begin building yourself and your worth up off the ground. With what feels like nothing left, you have no choice but to begin living for yourself, caring for yourself, and projecting the same love you willingly give to others back to yourself.
You have to begin doing the things you once loved; you have to begin carrying out acts of kindness and self-care for yourself just because. And for once, you have to start learning to put yourself first before anything or anyone else, because if you can’t be the main character of your own life, where can you be?
Heartbreak is a journey of mostly lows that make the rare highs so much more worthy, and for that you grow to become more grateful of all that you have and are surrounded by. Whether it’s your stomach aching from laughing too hard with your friends or it’s a glowing sunset you happen to catch on your drive home, those moments of knowing that things are going to be okay are what you hold onto. When the depths become a little dark and the hope grows weaker, remind yourself that you are here for a reason and that you have a great impact on the people that love you.