If you’ve started a new relationship not long after a breakup, you’ve probably considered that age-old question: How long do rebound relationships last?
Well, don’t worry because today you’ll learn everything you need to know about rebound relationships and the signs that indicate whether or not it will work!
What Are Rebound Relationships?
Before diving deeper into the matters, let’s first define what being on the rebound means.
Rebound relationships are relationships that a person enters not long after a breakup or a divorce.
In other words, these relationships quickly follow the ending of a previous one. And you’ve probably heard from other people who have been in such relationships themselves that they don’t really last for long.
There’s this assumption that every rebound relationship is doomed and this has become deeply ingrained in our society.
But this doesn’t necessarily have to be so. In some cases, being with a new partner right after a past relationship has just ended can be a positive experience, and often leads to something serious.
However, in some cases, ending a long-term relationship and entering a new one not long afterwards, can be a negative thing and often leads to heartbreak.
The reason why this might happen is because rebounders often jump into a new relationship with a heavy burden of emotional instability and for the wrong reasons – of which the most popular one is the desire to distract themselves from their ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend.
So, we could say that the success of a rebound relationship greatly depends on the person’s motives, emotional state, and the overall breakup situation regarding their previous relationship with their ex-partner!
Why Do Rebound Relationships Happen?
The main reasons why someone might decide to look for someone else and enter the rebound zone right after breaking up with their partner is because of loneliness, the inability to cope with the breakup, and for the sake of seeking emotional stability.
Basically, rebound relationships happen when a person decides that having a new partner will help them heal or at least feel better about the whole breakup situation, or that it will help them forget their former relationship and everything that happened in the past.
Rebound relationships also happen when a person is desperate to get their ex back and they think that making them jealous with someone else will bring them back into their life.
They also happen when a person is feeling unworthy of love and affection due to being abandoned by their partner, so they choose to rebound to help them boost their self-esteem and feel loved again.
Or they occur when a person is determined to get revenge on an ex who has treated them badly.
Rebound relationships are often a way of coping, running from old relationships and seeking a fresh life or love chapter with a new guy or girl even though the old chapter hasn’t officially finished yet.
In these cases, such a relationship is bound to be short-term rather than long-term.
Yet again, sometimes being on the rebound has nothing to do with trying to forget exes, loneliness, seeking emotional stability, or starting a new life because some people don’t need much time to heal (especially if they were the one who ended their last relationship).
In these cases, a rebound relationship has a great chance of turning into the real deal.
How Long Do Rebound Relationships Last?
If you’re thinking about jumping into a rebound relationship, or you’re already in one, it’s natural that you ask yourself: How long do rebound relationships last, or do they ever work?
I’m sorry to disappoint you, but no one can give you an easy answer to these two questions (not even relationship experts) because it all depends on the individual, their emotional state, and the circumstances they’re in.
For example, let’s say that you just ended a five year relationship with your partner.
You’re feeling sad, disappointed, and lonely because you had got used to their presence and you can’t stop thinking about texting them and stalking them on social media.
The no contact rule is out of the question because it’s too painful for you to all of a sudden start pretending that you don’t care about them.
So what happens if you enter a rebound relationship while being in that state?
Your rebound relationship is more likely to fail before it has even started because you haven’t given yourself enough time to heal and process all the negative emotions and everything that happened.
Being in a five year relationship is no small thing and that’s why it requires a proper healing period.
Now, let’s say that you just ended a six month – one year relationship because your partner treated you badly in one way or another. In that case, you probably won’t need much time to heal, but there will still be some rage and disappointment accumulated in your body.
So what happens if you enter a rebound relationship while being in that state?
The chances are that it will work and it will last for a great amount of time, but only if you’re not deeply attached to your ex-partner and only if you’re not entering a rebound relationship with revenge in mind.
As you can see, there are many variations and potential background details, so the best way to answer the question How long do rebound relationships last?
Is by rephrasing the question into Will it work or not? And here is a list of signs that define a potentially successful rebound relationship and also a list of signs to watch out for:
Signs A Rebound Relationship Will Work
If a person who is on the rebound behaves in the following or a similar manner, then the relationship has a great chance of becoming long-term:
1. Being honest about the breakup situation
There’s nothing more harmful in a relationship than lies and deceit.
It’s really hard (if not impossible) to build something meaningful when the very foundation is toxic.
So, if someone is honest with their new partner about the breakup reasons and the whole situation, then it means that they’ve accepted everything that happened and they’re ready to move on.
When a person is not ready to let go of their previous relationship, they will not be honest about the real reasons for their breakup because it’s either hard to accept or they have a twisted image in their head on what really happened.
It means that they still live in an illusion and that’s why they have a tendency to lie or keep some things for themselves.
So, being honest about the whole breakup situation is a good sign that they’re ready for a new relationship and that it will last because it’s built on trust and honesty.
2. Being 100% certain that their previous relationship is over
When a relationship breaks up, each individual has a different perspective on it.
Some create an illusion and fake comfort that things could change and that someday they shall be reunited.
And some people are instantly sure that their relationship is over and no matter what they do or say, nothing will change.
So, when someone is 100% certain that their past relationship is over, it means they have accepted it and don’t secretly hope to reunite with their ex.
There’s nothing more harmful for both partners’ mental health and well-being in a rebound relationship than having a partner who still has feelings for their ex and who still hopes that things will eventually change.
Being totally certain about the fact that their previous relationship is over means being ready to be in a new one because that’s the only way to reciprocity! There are no shortcuts when it comes to this.
3. Being fully committed to the new relationship
When someone constantly thinks about their ex-partner, it’s hard to focus on the current relationship, let alone be committed or make a serious effort.
They become solely focused on the past and that’s why they can’t focus on the present and the new relationship they’re in.
But, if they are fully devoted to the rebound relationship, it’s a sure sign that they’ve gotten over their ex-partner and they’re ready to devote all their time and attention to their new mate.
It means they don’t think about too many “what ifs” and they don’t hope that they will be reunited with their ex again because if they did, they wouldn’t bother being fully committed to and engaged in their current relationship.
4. The previous relationship ended on good terms
There’s a huge difference between a relationship that ends on bad terms and one that ends on good terms.
The ones that end on bad terms make partners more distressed, and therefore, prone to the influence of negative emotions.
This can negatively affect a new relationship because these people enter a relationship with a huge burden of negativity, draining emotions, and unsaid words.
But, if the previous relationship ended on good terms, both partners will be more relaxed and reasonable around the whole breakup situation.
They will not see it as something necessarily bad, but as something that was inevitable and expected.
When two people decide to stay on good terms after a breakup and one of them decides to enter a rebound relationship, there will be no burden and no negative connotations.
There will be space for developing a healthy, long-term relationship!
5. They ended the relationship
This one is pretty obvious. The person who ended the relationship won’t feel as distressed about it because it was their decision and the only possible outcome is relief. Rebounding in that situation will be 100% positive.
Since they’re the one who initiated the breakup, there won’t be any confusing feelings, regrets, or similar and they won’t need much time to recover from the breakup.
They know why they ended the relationship, so there’s not much space here for any type of negative emotions.
This person will be ready to commit to someone else in a healthy way because there will be no burden from the past, and no “what if’s” or similar.
Signs A Rebound Relationship Will Not Work
As already mentioned, if someone is driven to enter a rebound relationship for the wrong reasons, like seeking emotional stability, or because they are feeling lonely or similar, the chances are high that the relationship will not work.
Here are some reasons why a rebound may end terribly:
1. They are seeking an alternative for their previous partner
One of the major signs that a rebound relationship will not work is if the person’s motive is to find an alternative to their previous partner.
In other words, if they’re looking for the same qualities of their ex-partner in a new person.
This is never a good thing and it will never result in a positive outcome.
Constantly searching for exes in other people means not being ready to let go of them.
It means being aware of the fact that it’s over and that things will never be as they used to, but still not being ready to move on and forget about them.
A rebound relationship officially fails once they realize that the new partner will never be able to replace their ex-partner.
That’s why taking some time to heal is necessary and the only way to a future happy love life.
2. They enter a new relationship with the fear of getting hurt again
If a previous partner hurt them, the chances are they will enter a new relationship with the fear of getting hurt again.
This means constantly being on the lookout for every possible threat and indication that their partner is about to hurt them.
It means constantly asking their new partner about their whereabouts, not trusting them (even when they’re telling the truth), thinking that they’re doing something behind their back, or thinking that they might eventually do it.
All this is extremely toxic for both partners and it’s the main reason why such a rebound relationship will not last for long.
3. They rush things in a new relationship
If someone is feeling unloved or if they still have feelings for their ex, they might redirect these feelings toward their new partner.
As a consequence of showering them with too much affection, initiating things too soon or similar, they will rush things in a new relationship and their new partner will start feeling suffocated.
Every relationship needs some space and time to develop at its own pace and that’s why any type of rushing can be extremely harmful and can seriously hurt any potential chances of the rebound relationship being successful.
4. If they enter a new relationship without much introspection beforehand
When someone doesn’t take some time to heal and think about their behavior and the whole breakup situation, they enter a new relationship without much introspection beforehand.
As a consequence, they risk repeating the same mistakes, but now in another relationship.
After a breakup, it’s essential to take some time to introspect and see what the critical things in your previous relationship were, and what can you do to improve things in the future.
It’s the only way to establish healthy connections in future dating.
5. If they are not their true self
Another thing that could seriously block a rebound relationship from reaching its potential is someone who has lost their true self.
Now, what does this mean? It means entering a new relationship while still being hurt or under the influence of a breakup in one way or another.
The only time a partner will be genuine and their true self is when they have accepted what happened and don’t have any emotional baggage regarding their past.
The only time they will be ready to enjoy a healthy future is when they deal with the baggage of their past.
6. When they bring too much baggage into a new relationship
Bringing too much baggage into a new relationship is a surefire way to make sure it doesn’t last.
Having some unresolved issues with an ex-partner can negatively affect a relationship with a new partner.
Drama, emotional baggage, and other negative aspects will prevent a new couple from reaching their full potential and such a relationship is bound to fail before it has even started.
Rebound relationships can sometimes be really hard to understand, let alone determine their course.
While there’s no real recipe for how to make rebound relationships last longer, one thing is sure:
Being honest with your new partner and entering a rebound relationship for all the right reasons will surely help to make it last!