We’ve all been in a situation where we wondered how to stop liking a guy or a girl we can’t have.
It is not that you love this person, but the truth is that you’re more than physically attracted to them, and you can see yourself in a relationship with them.
But sadly, they don’t feel the same way about you.
Maybe they’re already taken or don’t see you as a more than friend.
Either way, it is clear that you don’t have a shot with them.
However, despite all of your efforts, you can’t help but take your mind off them.
This entire situation makes you feel childish: after all, you’re crying over someone you were never in a relationship with.
Nevertheless, this is not something you should be ashamed of.
In fact, many experts say that sometimes it is even harder to get over someone you never had and know will never be yours than move on after a person you’ve already dated.
You think of all the potential you two would have as a couple, and you can’t accept the fact that they’ll forever remain unattainable for you.
At the same time, your ego is hurt.
How come this person doesn’t want to even give you a chance?
Will you really spend the rest of your life never having had them?
Will you never find out how it feels to kiss them and hold their hand?
Well, the harsh truth is that you probably will, and it is something you’ll simply have to deal with, whether you like it or not.
However, this is not the end of the world, and if you just follow this dating advice, you’ll get over them in no time.
1. Be realistic about the situation
According to most dating advice, if you’re trying to figure out how to make yourself stop liking someone, the first step is to accept the situation, as much as it might be painful.
I know it is difficult to face the fact that someone you like very much doesn’t care about you enough and doesn’t want to give you a chance, but that is simply how things are.
Therefore, you can’t make any progress if you keep on getting your hopes up regarding this person.
There is no point in putting effort in forgetting them if you’re simultaneously trying to get them to like you back and doing everything you can to win them over.
In order to really stop liking someone, you need to kill all hope that you guys will eventually become a thing.
Don’t ignore them in an attempt to get their attention because you won’t get the results you want.
Don’t waste this entire time patiently waiting for them to realize what they’re losing or to come crawling back to you once they see you’re really serious about your intentions.
Don’t do it to prove a point or to show this person you can make it without them.
Don’t do it because of them.
Try doing it with the goal to help yourself and make yourself feel better.
First and foremost, stop looking for hidden messages.
Stop trying to misinterpret this person’s behavior and other acts of kindness as a sign they might have some feelings for you after all.
If necessary, to start the process of getting over this person, look at yourself in the mirror every single morning and repeat that they don’t like you, never did, and never will.
Yes, hearing this is not easy, but it is the only way for you to really understand it and grasp it.
2. Avoid the blame game
After you’ve successfully managed to come to terms with the situation, it is time to accept that there is no deeper, hidden reason for it.
This person simply doesn’t like you, and they’re not in any way mandatory to do so.
First of all, don’t blame them for not feeling the way you would want them to.
You know how you can’t order your broken heart to stop liking them?
Well, they can’t force themselves to like you either–it’s that simple.
Laws of attraction are usually hard to explain, and just because someone isn’t into you, it doesn’t mean you should feel resentful towards them or start hating them.
In fact, start looking at things this way: you should actually grateful for the fact they never led you on.
They didn’t give you any false hope nor did they play with your emotions.
Things were clear from day one and the way you feel about them is a completely different matter.
What is also important is not to blame yourself for the lack of emotions you are getting from the object of your affection.
No, you shouldn’t be more attractive, smarter or more interesting, and there is nothing you could have done to win their heart over.
Stop taking this rejection personally!
Just because one person doesn’t like you, it certainly doesn’t mean that you’re not good enough or not meant to be loved.
You don’t need closure or explanation.
You need to understand that you’re hung up on the wrong person, and maybe see this as the Universe’s way of saving you from a loveless relationship which was doomed to fail.
After all, the last thing you want is someone dating you just because they feel sorry for you or because there is no one better on their horizon right now.
You want your partner to like you the same way you like them, and this is clearly not someone who can do that!
3. Give yourself a deadline
Congratulations because you’ve done a load of self-introspection, and you’re ready to make some concrete moves which will surely lead you to becoming completely indifferent towards this person.
However, you can’t expect everything to change in the blink of an eye.
Yes, the truth is that luckily, you still haven’t grown to love this person.
Nevertheless, the infatuation you feel is quite intense, and it lasted for a while, so you’ll need a certain period for letting go as well.
At the same time, you don’t want to spend more time trying to figure out how to stop liking your crush than you spent being head over heels for them.
Therefore, the best thing you can do is to listen to this dating advice, and give yourself a deadline in which you’ll make this happen.
Observe the following simple steps and determine the time frame in which you should achieve your final goal—to get over the girl or the guy you like.
Be realistic and not too harsh, but don’t baby yourself either.
If necessary, write down your progress with each day that passes.
Just have in mind that healing is never a linear process, so don’t beat yourself up about going backwards just because you have a few shitty episodes.
Sometimes, you’re convinced that you’re not going anywhere, and you fail to see all the small steps you’ve made just because there wasn’t any huge achievement.
However, when you start tracking your progress, you’ll have full insight on how far you’ve come.
Don’t be ashamed of being too detailed—after all, you’re the only one who’ll be reading this.
Count how many times you have thought of them, how many times you have visited their social media profiles, how many times you have mentioned them to your friends and family, and how many times you have reached for your phone and wanted to call them.
I promise you that, as your deadline approaches, the numbers will be drastically decreasing as every day goes by.
In fact, you’ll even catch yourself not thinking about them for a while, which is something that never used to happen before.
Another good strategy is to treat yourself every time you reach a big milestone.
It will be enough to make your favorite meal or to buy yourself a little something for every milestone you overcame.
This way, you’re giving yourself some motivation you desperately need, and without even being aware of it, you’re pushing yourself forward to keep up the good work.
4. Distance yourself from your crush
The most important thing you need to do in this situation if you want to save yourself is to cut all possible ties with the object of your affection.
You can’t expect to fall out of love with them if you guys keep hanging out together, if you continue being just friends, and if you remain in each other’s lives in any other way.
Therefore, firstly, you have to physically remove this person from your side, and then work on pulling them out of your heart and mind.
If you think that blocking someone’s number and having the need to unfollow their social media profiles is childish, I completely agree.
After all, we’re all adults, and in most case scenarios, these types of drastic moves are exaggerated.
However, in your situation, this is exactly what you ought to do because the block and unfollow options are the only ways to prevent yourself from stalking them or from constantly waiting for their phone calls.
Also, it is a good idea to stop appearing in the places you know you might run into them.
If you two have some mutual friends, politely ask them not to mention this person in front of you and not to give you any information regarding them or their love life, even if you ask them about it.
If this doesn’t work, cut as many ties as possible with everyone who knows them and especially with their closest friends and family.
Yes, at first, it will be hard because investigating your crush’s activity and talking about them has become a kind of addiction for you.
However, after a while, when you see how much good this strategy has brought you, you’ll be proud of yourself for pulling it off.
Nevertheless, there is the possibility of you having to figure out how to stop liking someone you see everyday.
What if this is your next door neighbour, a coworker or someone with whom you simply have to be in touch?
Well, if this is the case, firstly, reduce your communication to the bare minimum, and avoid them as much as possible.
Don’t engage in any conversations that are not strictly professional, and stop getting yourself involved in any kind of personal relationship, even if they want to be just friends because you wish for something more.
Also, concentrate on their flaws instead of their good sides.
Remember that you’re idealizing this person and that you never dated them, so you probably don’t have a clue about the parts of their personality you wouldn’t like.
Don’t insult them or put them down because that would be childish, besides being rude.
However, whenever you’re around them, take off your rose-colored glasses; focus on the imperfections regarding their looks and character and keep telling yourself that you two would never have been a dream couple.
5. Don’t run away from your feelings
The number one mistake most people make when they try to forget someone is suppressing their emotions.
They’re ashamed of admitting to themselves that they’re head over heels for someone because that realization would destroy their ego, so they just go on, pretending that nothing is going on and that they’re not as badly hurt as they really are.
Nevertheless, according to most dating advice, this approach won’t bring you far.
After all, if you convince yourself that this person’s lack of emotions doesn’t bother you, you’ll also see no need of doing something about your feelings, which you pretend don’t even exist.
Remember that repressing your emotions can only make a fuss in your heart and mind.
In fact, your emotions might become stronger with time, and before you know it, you’ll catch yourself loving this person, instead of just liking them.
In order to avoid this, it is crucial to get in touch with your feelings, without allowing them to completely define you.
However, the only way to change them is to acknowledge both them and their true intensity.
How much do you actually like this person?
Is this a temporary crush, a physical attraction, an infatuation or does it threaten to grow into something much more??
Another thing to pay attention to is the source of your pain.
Are you indeed heartbroken because of this one-sided love or is all of this just your ego which can’t stand rejection?
Trust me—it will be a hell of a lot easier for you to handle this situation once you become aware of everything you’re dealing with.
6. Keep yourself busy
The worst thing you can do when you’re trying to get over the girl or the guy you like is to shut yourself off from the rest of the world.
Yes, you’ve acknowledged your emotions, but that doesn’t mean you should let the sorrow eat you alive or get the best of you.
The same way you gave yourself a deadline for letting go, also determine a time frame in which you have to stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Start with giving yourself a few days to process things, to be alone with your thoughts, and to cry the pain away.
However, after that period is done, you need to focus on never allowing yourself to be bored.
As long as you have plenty of time on your hands, your thoughts will wander and bring you to thinking about this person you’re so desperately trying to forget.
Therefore, the most effective way of preventing this from happening is keeping yourself as busy as possible.
If necessary, make a strict schedule of your everyday activities, so you’re never left with time or energy to think about them.
You can engage in more work as well, but don’t let that become your only sanctuary.
Instead, hit the gym, start a new hobby, begin learning a new language or even start watching a new TV show.
Whatever you do, make sure both your mind and body are as active as possible.
Don’t push yourself too hard and do things which make you happy and pleased.
At first, you’ll probably see all of this as a waste of time because you’ll continue to think about your crush even in the most crowded places.
Nevertheless, with time, you’ll realize that your thoughts are more and more occupied with other things.
Another good way of keeping yourself busy is spending time with your good friends.
You have the option of calling your old friends or going out there and finding some new friends in order to expand your social circle.
Whatever activity you engage in, it can be an opportunity to meet new people.
Find a gym partner, a hiking buddy or join a book club where you’ll find some folks who have similar interests as yourself.
Go clubbing, volunteer or spend a day with family—just don’t ever isolate yourself from the rest of the world.
Don’t get me wrong—I’m not advising you to run away from your thoughts, but don’t spend most of your time alone with them either.
Being surrounded by people for the first time after your heartbreak might annoy you.
After all, you would like to hang out with your crush and anyone besides them is bothering you.
However, after a while, you’ll see that other people manage to take your mind off your overthinking and troubles.
8. Talk to someone
You can have numerous new friends, acquaintances, coworkers you go to lunch breaks with, and people you enjoy hanging out in your social circle with, but only a few people in your life deserve to be called your real friends.
Of course, you won’t spill your soul out and reveal all of your deepest secrets to everyone in your life, but your best friend is someone you can share your problems with.
Even when you’re at your lowest, knowing that you have someone you can call in the middle of the night and having a person to hold your hand through the dark hours is a true blessing.
Don’t be ashamed of talking about how you feel with this person because wondering how to stop liking a guy or a girl you can’t have is completely normal and something we’ve all experienced at one point.
Besides, this way, you can always hear precious advice.
Your good friends might help you take your rose-colored glasses off, give you a fresh perspective on things, and will definitely help you move past your feelings.
Even if they don’t give you a solution, having someone to hear you out or just sit with you in silence will also ease your pain.
However, just make sure not to turn your every get together into time dedicated to your crush only.
Instead, every time you hang out with your best friend, set up a time frame in which this person is allowed to be mentioned.
Tell them about your progress and about everything that has been on your mind lately, but after the determined period is over, finish any conversation that might include your crush, and don’t go back to it.
Also, some dating advice will tell you to seek professional help if you see that you have trouble chasing your feelings away by yourself.
However, according to some, liking a person who doesn’t like you back is not so serious, so therapy isn’t necessary.
Nevertheless, if your obsession isn’t coming to its end despite the amount of time which has passed and if you have a habit of falling for people who can’t reciprocate your love, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to examine the behavior patterns connected to your love life with an expert.
After all, professional help can’t cause you any harm.
9. Focus on yourself
One of the most effective ways to kick someone out of your system is rechanneling all of the energy you wasted on them towards yourself.
It is investing all the time you were spending cracking your brains open and thinking about them in self-improvement.
Now that you’re about to stop liking the object of your affection, start liking yourself with the same intensity.
Put yourself in first place, become attracted to yourself, and focus on everything beautiful there is on your face, body, and in your personality.
Do whatever you can to please yourself.
Instead of wasting another minute on someone who clearly doesn’t want you, start living your life to the fullest and enjoying every single breath you take.
Besides, it is about time to get some self-respect and give yourself a first place in your own life.
Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, start noticing your self-worth, and remember that you’re not someone who would settle for anyone’s crumbs of love and attention.
Remember that it is beneath you to chase someone who obviously doesn’t want to get caught.
The last thing you want is to humiliate yourself and beg this person to like you back.
This is not the end of the world—it is just a new beginning for you!
10. Go back to dating
Most people will tell you that the best way to get over a heartbreak is to jump into a new relationship as soon as possible.
Once you get occupied by someone new, you won’t have time, energy or desire to think about this person from your past.
However, engaging in a new romance can also be counterproductive if you do it without being fully ready.
Moving on without healing is a dangerous way of running away from your emotions, and it can complicate your life even further.
Besides, it drags a third person into your drama, as well, which is anything but fair.
Nobody likes being a rebound, and you should never even consider leading someone on and using them to help you cure your broken heart.
However, it is one thing if you start a serious relationship, and it is completely different to put yourself out there and flirt with someone new, which is something you should without a doubt do the moment you see you’re up to it.
For the first time, don’t have big expectations—just be open to someone interesting who might cross your path.
Don’t jump from one bed to another because that won’t help you either.
However, don’t run away from the possibility of meeting the one, without being burdened by that idea.
Unless you become ready, don’t tie yourself, and don’t make any promises.
Instead, enjoy all the benefits of your single life, and in the meantime, flirt and go out on a few dates so as not to get rusty and to fill up your time.
After all, you never know what might happen and where life can take you.