Where do I start?
Sometimes I feel so dumb that I let you into my life but then again, I remember I just believed you were a better person.
Well, that wasn’t the case.
Everything we did always felt like some kind of competition where someone needed to prove something. Nothing was ever simple or easy.
You bullied me into believing I was less than just to give me some poor excuse for love afterward.
You even expected me to be grateful when in reality you gave me nothing. The only thing you have given anyone is a sense of fake dominance.
I can’t believe I ever fell for that. However, now I know better. Now I know exactly what I DON’T want in life. Now I know what a man in my life should never ever do.
He shouldn’t ever talk down to me—like you did. I’m not a child, I’m not stupid, I can fully comprehend and do things on my own.
I don’t want you to mansplain anything to me. There’s a difference between respectful and gentle ways of explaining things and full-on disrespect.
I’m done with men who need to make me feel smaller so they can feel better about themselves. Go and feed your ego somewhere else.
Another thing I won’t let anyone do again is walk all over me. I won’t be a doormat for a man’s internalized frustration. I don’t deserve that.
I won’t let him control my life or ruin my mood and forget about doing him favors and getting nothing in return! I’m not here to satisfy his every whim.
One of the most important things I learned is to listen to my intuition. When something feels off, trust yourself. If he’s acting sketchy, don’t let him get away with it.
Be very clear and ask for explanations, don’t sweep anything under the rug.
I ignored so many things out of love for you that it finally ruined me and at the same time, you have zero regrets.
Not only that but you blamed me for the things I never did. Later, I figured that out of fear, I was doing the same thing you did to me. Crazy, isn’t it?
On top of all that, your self-pity was unbearable. Your self-obsession became so obvious and it was hard to ignore.
All you did was make me feel bad for whatever I did, which is a classic example of emotional manipulation.
Everything was always about how you felt.
I was actually trying to help you but the whole time, you were using me.
In the end, I just realized you’ll never change. You never wanted to change.
That’s how I learned that you can’t change other people. Without their effort, nothing can be done.
Other than that, I realized that by being with you, I disrespected myself. I didn’t know my own worth and I agreed to play by your rules and ended up hurting myself but that’s over with now.
I remember how you told me I was lucky to have you because you were always somehow better than me. Guess what?
Now I know I’m lucky you’re gone. I’m THANKFUL you’re gone.
The best thing is that now, after so much time, I have myself and I missed myself so very much.
I will never let another man ruin my life like you did. There’s no place for repeated mistakes. Instead, I promise myself I will stay true to myself, which means playing by nobody’s rules.
The next person who comes into my life will be someone who’s worthy of my attention, time and love. Someone who will see me for who I am.
You taught me a valuable lesson. It had its price but now I understand why all of this had to happen. I needed to learn to love myself and that’s what I did.
After all, I forgive you but this time, I’m not doing it for you but for myself.
By forgiving you, I am letting myself move on with my life.