We’ve found that each day of the week has its own personality, much like our zodiac signs. So we made a handy chart of our own, to help you figure out which day of the week you vibe with most. If you don’t see one that matches your personality, it’s probably because this is day-of-the-week fan-fiction and not based on anything but pure imagination. But please, indulge us:


She is all business, all the time. She wears a top bun, and though her wardrobe is just a sea of power suits (and her freezer stuffed with power bagels), she fancies herself more Breakfast at Tiffany’s, less The Devil Wears Prada. She is never seen without a coffee in hand, nor with her feathers ruffled, no hair out-of-place. Monday is no-nonsense, and she’s so flawless, it’s exhausting. She glistens through a 6 a.m. spin class every morning. Her least favorite quote is, “Tear off the mask. Your face is glorious.” And her biggest vice is taking long bubble baths while reading The Economist.


Tuesday is a little ballerina of a woman. She’s petite and she wears her hair clipped to the side with a simple barrette. She owns more pairs of ballet flats than she can count, and has just as many matching pastel cardigan sets. Her favorite lipgloss is called “Love in Delicate Lace,” and she is so very sweet. The Tuesday girl loves her boyfriend very much and she often bakes him gluten-free muffins to take to work. She loves nothing more than walking her golden retriever through the park and shopping for dinner at Whole Foods. Tuesday’s favorite quote is, “Wake up and be awesome,” and she has a coffee mug emblazoned with that very quote. Her best friend gave it to her for Christmas last year, and she uses it everyday. Tuesday’s vice is Instagramming cute pics of her feet or of her boyfriend peacefully sleeping.


Wednesday is all skinny jeans and band tees and leather jackets. She wears her hair loose and wavy, and people often mistake her for one of the Haim sisters. Maybe today she’ll drink juice or maybe she’ll scarf down a burger instead. Who’s to say? Wednesday keeps you on your toes. She is very much like Olivia Wilde in “Drinking Buddies” or Jennifer Lawrence at award ceremonies. Her vice is blowing too much money on s_-y lingerie, and sometimes donning a wig, driving an hour outside of town and going to bars alone, pretending to be someone else. Wednesday doesn’t care what you think, and you love her for it. Wednesday is in a band called Dirty Spoons and she was once suspended from private school for sniffing Sharpies on a field trip. She hates it when people tell her, “Everything happens for a reason,” and one thing she’s never told anyone is that she knows all the words to “Just Dance” by Lady Gaga.


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