Everyone has preferences when it comes to relationships, including ways they want to be treated, what they’re willing to overcome for their partner, and even traits or habits that are dealbreakers in relationships. And if you look at these things through the lens of astrology, you can get further insight into what their preferences might be, based on their zodiac sign.
When talking about traits that are most likely to be a certain zodiac sign’s dealbreaker, it’s important to remember that we’re not necessarily talking about hard and fast conditions that everyone under that sign has. “Sometimes the ‘right’ partner for you has traits that might challenge your typical way of doing things,” Jaye, an astrologer at Gifted Astrology, tells Bustle. It’s all about speaking up if something’s happening that you don’t like, and finding a way to smooth it over together.
“When we take the challenges as opportunities for growth, or as invitations to deepen love in the relationship, both sides end up winning,” Jaye says. “Ultimately, a deep, satisfying relationship is about being willing to learn and embrace your differences while you remind yourself that you’re on the same team.” Here is the one trait or habit your partner may consider a dealbreaker, according to astrologers, as well as how to overcome it.
1Aries (March 21 – April 19): Idleness
As a hardworking sign, Aries is always jumping from one project to the next in their never-ending quest to take over the world. So if they arrive home after a long day of kicking butt, and see signs that they’re partner isn’t as active as them, it might be a turnoff.
“Aries is always on the move and laziness is looked down upon,” Jaye says. “They want a partner to be active with,” which is why they’ll need to discuss ways to keep their relationship fun and dynamic, if they want to be happy. While Aries can try to accept their partner as they are, Jaye says it can also be a good bonding experience to get out of the house, and engage in an activity as a team. That way, Aries can appreciate their partner’s effort.
2Taurus (April 20 – May 20): A Lack Of Stability
For Taurus, their biggest dealbreaker is when a partner is scattered or inconsistent. “Taurus prefers comfortable, stable surroundings and they don’t like shocking changes,” Jaye says. They handle changes much better when they’re introduced to them gradually. So, when dating a Taurus, Jaye says “patience is the name of the game.” Guiding a Taurus through change, instead of springing things on them, can help them to better adjust.
3Gemini (May 21 – June 20): A Lack Of Vulnerability
Gemini is all about the art of conversation, so they can easily feel uncomfortable when “people … keep their thoughts to themselves,” Jaye says. They much prefer it when their partner opens up, and shares what’s on their mind. So if your Gemini partner is trying to dig deep with you, acknowledge it and share things you are comfortable sharing. They will appreciate the effort.
4Cancer (June 21 – July 22): Selfishness
Cancer “is hypersensitive and guarded by nature,” astrologer Valerie Mesa tells Bustle. So they can feel easily attacked by their partners, especially if they happen to be coming off as arrogant or selfish. “They prefer to be around sensitive souls who at least have some sort of empathy,” Mesa says.
But that doesn’t mean Cancer can’t work things out with a more abrasive partner. While they can certainly try to accept their partner as-is, they shouldn’t be afraid to talk with their partners, and discuss ways to communicate that don’t leave them feeling attacked.
5Leo (July 23 – August 22): Negativity
Leos tend to be bright, cheerful people, and therefore “absolutely loathe negativity and/or depressing situations,” Mesa says. “For instance, a martyr or someone with a bad attitude will easily scare them away. They much rather surround themselves with love and light.”
Of course that doesn’t mean you can never share your negative feelings with a Leo, but embrace their sunny disposition — their positivity might rub off on you.
6Virgo (August 23 – September 22): Disorganization
Virgos are the most highly organized sign, who thrive in structure, neatness, and order. So for them, a partner who is messy can truly drive them up the wall.
The relationship can work, though, if Virgo is willing to take a step back and understand that not everyone is as organized as they are. But their partners can also help out, and “make sure to respect their space and sense of order when [they’re together,]” Jaye says.
7Libra (September 23 – October 22): Drama
Since they are born under the sign of the scales, Libras are all about balance and harmony, Mesa says. They refuse to tolerate drama or unnecessary confrontation, and work best in calm and serene environments. When their partners don’t allow them that, they can certainly talk it out and work on communicating in a calmer way. If Libra’s partner can learn how to turn disagreements into discussions, Libra will be much more receptive to reconciling.
8Scorpio (October 23 – November 21): Lying
Since Scorpio has a hard time trusting others, they often have a pretty low threshold for shadiness. “They’re natural detectives because they want to get to the truth,” Jaye says.
That’s why if you’re partners with a Scorpio, your relationship can benefit from transparency. Although you don’t have to share everything with each other, being honest and upfront will keep a Scorpio around.
9Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21): Possesiveness
Those born under the sign of Sagittarius love their freedom, and enjoy spontaneity. “They enjoy sporadic adventures and exciting experiences; therefore, this fire sign will not tolerate jealousy and/or possessiveness,” Mesa says. If they feel like their partner doesn’t understand, or is holding them back, a relationship might not be successful. That’s why finding that balance, and keeping a relationship with a Sagittarius new and exciting, is key.
10Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Disrespect
For Capricorn, one of the most important qualities of a relationship is respect, so they can be incredibly sensitive to slights. “This earth sign is serious, structured, and no nonsense,” Mesa says. “A person who lacks respect, discipline and/or ambition in there life is simply out of the question. Capricorn’s entire life is strictly business. Not everyone makes the cut.”
Although confrontation will happen, if your partner is a Capricorn, it is important to maintain this sense of respect, even in the most challenging of fights. If they feel they are still held in high regard, things can work out.
11Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): Not Being Social
An Aquarius will place a lot of importance on their social lives and friend group, so they may not jive with someone who’s more of a homebody. “Aquarius loves experiencing life in groups,” Jaye says, which is why they appreciate it when their partner makes an effort to join them, or at least strike a home life/social life balance.
12Pisces (February 19 – March 20): Realism
As the dreamiest sign, Pisces tends to float the other way when their partners are too realistic. “Their vivid imaginations are colorful and childlike; therefore, anyone who rains on their imaginary parade are simply out of the question,” Mesa says. Though, as with all signs, they can find happiness — as long as they’re willing to strike a balance between fiction and reality.
Each sign has traits that cause them to turn up their nose, but that doesn’t mean they can’t happily be with someone who’s different from them. By being aware of preferences like these, and making allowances where necessary, every sign can certainly make it work.